Blender magazine has published their latest list of the 50 Worst Songs Ever and once again this year I appear to be at least partly responsible for some of these records being hits. Here's my breakdown:
Songs I Love: 4
Songs I Like: 18
Let me at least defend my top four on the list.
At #44 on their worst songs ever list they list Meatloaf's "I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) accusing it of not "making any sense" because it doesn't say what the Loaf won't do. That's the magic of it and just one reason why it's great. One can imagine anything to be the singer's dealbreaker and I just assume it was watching "So You Think You Can Dance."
Blender says the forty second worst song of all time is "The Sounds Of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel, saying it "sounds like a vicious parody of a pompous and pretentious mid-60s folk singer." We might know some of those pompous and pretentious pretenders by name if they could have written anything as good as this.
They call "The End" by the Doors the the 26th worst song ever. Are they right that is is "bombastic and lugubrious" and that it "sounds like it was recorded in a large metal shipping container and mixed by drunks?" Yes. But I love psychedelic music and the "anemic jazz noodling" of the guitar works for me. Plus, Apocalypse Now, bitch!
Their #12 worst song ever is "Kokomo" by the Beach Boys. They call it "a gloopy mess of faux-Carribean musical stylings." I say it always sounds like summer whenever you hear it. I didn't see the movie Cocktail, from whence it came, I so don't have that dragging down its memory either. Plus, the Beach Boys are close to my favorite band ever and the harmonies on this are their best of the 80s.
I wonder if somewhere there is somebody writing his blog and defending "I'm Too Sexy" (#49) or "Achy Breaky Heart" (#2).