My dear friend Rose, when she is not busy looking for a man and looking for a job, still amazingly finds the time to send me 100,000 word emails about the most curious aspects of her life.
I got this one a few days ago and did not even ask her permission to share it with you because a) she's a blogger too so knows that ones life informs ones blog so nearly everything one comes across is fair game and b) she is too busy writing the next 100,000 word email to have time to read anything I might post anyway.
Don't worry, I cut it down by 99% but I think you'll still get the gist. I know if Rose were reading this she would be very interesting in your comments too. Okay, deep breath and settle in.....
"Hi. I'm flummoxed. This may be something that takes a collective of brains to work out, because it's a conundrum of assumptions, laws, vanity and lack of common sense.
So: A guy has parked a Range Rover in a 'compact' space. Said space is immediately to the left of what looks like an acceptable, available space. The Range Rover is so hulkingly large that I can't see that its tires are very nearly in the next space, and that it's parked at a slight angle. I know, park somewhere else, put a note from YouParkLikeAnAsshole.com on it and go about my day, right?
Problem: I can't get out of my car from the driver's side. I know this because I try to open the door, gently. My mirror lightly touches his passenger side door, because that's kind of what happens in that situation.
Another problem: Due to the angle at which the Range Rover is parked, I can't back out without rubbing my mirror against the paint job. I only realize this after attempting to back out verrrrrry slowly, and stopping the second I realize what's happening. I verrrrrry slowly pull up to the front of the space and resign myself to climbing out of the passenger side.
As it happens, the guy and his (presumably) girlfriend show up just then. 'Oh, sorry,' he says, obviously not meaning it. 'It was the only space.'
'Did you try downstairs?' I ask.
Despite the literally dozens of signs around the parking lot mentioning the underground parking, he had been unaware of the existence of such a thing. Of course.
'Hey, you scratched my car.'
(Ed: skip, skip, skip, angst, tears, and talk of insurance companies here)
So, I'm waiting. I'm sure that if a claim is filed, I'll be at fault. Here's the question: Why? I pulled into a space, realized it was not the right space for me, tried to extricate myself, and was unable to do so without touching a huge-ass truck parked in a space meant for a compact car. Yes, I misjudged the situation, because when I'm coming up to a space in a parking lot, I can't pause time, fly several yards into the air, see the problem and avoid the situation entirely.
But isn't he at least as much at fault for creating the situation in the first place? Did it not occur to him that when he parked his huge-ass truck in a compact space, the mirror or door of any car parked next to him -- even if it was all the way to the other side of the adjacent space (also a compact spot) -- was going to touch the front passenger door? Does he really expect to drive and park a huge-ass truck around L.A. without getting the occasional scratch? Am I supposed to park elsewhere because he's just too damn important to find another spot, or does he think that the laws of physics don't apply to Range Rovers? And what's up with his girlfriend? 'Cause if it were me, I would've dumped him at "not [his] problem".
Yeah. I'm kinda stumped. You got anything?"