No, the title of today's post does not refer to my sad Mariners baseball team although watching their last three series against the Padres, Tigers and now the Yankees you might think so.
It is actually the name of my new favorite TV discovery, on the Spike network. Here's what the voiceover guy says at the beginning of each episode: "The human body is remarkably resilient. Every day we fight a new war against germs, toxins, injury, illness, catastrophe and calamity. The fact that we survive at all is a miracle. Because, everyday we live, we face 1000 Ways To Die!"
Thom Beers, the brains behind the sensational Seattle based Deadliest Catch came up with this one too and the title says it all. Each episode is packed with true stories of actual bizarre deaths, including real footage sometimes (like the guy who got hit by a crashing race car that hit him at over 100 miles per hour and then stopped on top of him), along with re-enactments, animation, and interviews with medical experts to describe the details of the death.
Two of my favorites so far include the Philadelphia meatpacker who froze to death in just a few minutes after being "accidentally" locked in the meat locker, always kept at a less than comfortable -10F. The show suggested it was perhaps an intentional "mistake" by the company's owner, who was also the father of a knocked up 17 year-old daughter. What I also learned: When people freeze to death they are often found with many of their clothes removed. Constricted blood vessels dilate, producing a sensation of extreme heat, prompting them to strip down. It is a phenomenon called "paradoxical undressing." Freezing to death is Way To Die #293.
I also very much enjoyed learning about the opposite way to go, six minutes at more than +200F. We saw a re-enactment of a young man at a Los Angeles hospital who, in the course of repairing an industrial dryer, found himself locked inside it as he shaked and baked to death. Ouch. What I also learned: Each year as many as twenty others meet death by dryer, or as the show so proudly put it, "in a machine set on tumble die!" Tumble Die is Way To Die #640.
Some of the tragic tales cover the same material as the well-known Darwin Awards, which i guess I could enjoy if I hadn't been fighting a years long battle to get people to stop sending me that stupid email about them over and over again.
More on 1000 Ways To Die, including lots of clips here. Please enjoy!