It was the big only story in Seattle yesterday and I couldn't be prouder. Our state's beauty pageant winner kicks your state beauty pageant winner's ass! That is, unless you live in Nevada - that girl is crazy!
Our Miss Washington, a delicate little flower named Elyse Umemoto, was the second runner up in the Miss America contest last year. But like most beauty queens, you would never have even heard of her if not for TMZ.com posting some private photos yesterday.
Here was their description of the shots: "Miss Washington 2007 might wanna take the crown off before flipping off the camera, getting her Beer Pong on and making suggestive oral sex gang signs."
Judging from the reaction here and online from around the world you would think a video just surfaced of her drowning nuns. My informal breakdown of the comments shakes out this way: Half think she should be stripped of her crown and the other half say she is a "stupid whore."
To the first point, she'll give up her title Saturday night anyway when Miss Washington 2008 is named. To the second, no, these photos do not necessarily demonstrate she is either stupid or whorish.
What she is is 23 years old. If you don't think these things go on at almost every single party where young people drink then you are as naive as Miss Umemoto. That she was a young woman with public ambition and didn't consider the possibility of shots like this coming back to haunt her was possibly ignorance and more likely naivety. Sidebar question to TMZ; What makes this a "suggestive oral sex gang sign?" Wow, gangs have really changed since I rolled like that in the 80s.
I don't really care what happens to her with respect to the Washington State beauty pageant because the Miss America pageant is as relevant to the 21st century as Beanie Babies.
I have two pieces of advice, not that anyone asked.
Thing One: I hope our own 23 year-old Mystery Daughter learns from Elyse's poor judgment and now better understands that the only surefire way to not be the victim of embarrassing photographs, even if the behavior itself is not particularly scandalous, is to not be in them.
I'm sure our Miss Washington would agree that she would much rather wake up tomorrow virtually anonymous again like she was 48 hours ago than have these photos be the only thing most of us will ever know about her.
Thing Two: For all other drunk beauty queens who forget this incident and do end up in regrettable party photos, don't let your no-good back-stabbing friends get them and potentially ruin you with their lack of discretion. Send them to me for safe keeping. Word is bond.