So I'm at the Safeway store Thursday afternoon and although I drove away satisfied with $71.26 worth of Yummy, I also left with some questions . Fortunately, I had my cellphone camera with me so can just put them out there and forget about it.
1. Look, I get the concept of store brand knockoffs. They're cheaper than the name brand and they taste sort of the same. But do they have to rip off the name of the major label product too? I'd have more respect for this soda if it just were called Safeway Pop and they put on the label, "Comparable to Dr Pepper."
2. Seriously, what's this deal? How can Grape Jelly be so freakin' awesome and Grape Jam be the unholy spawn of Satan? Why do they even make jam? The Oreo Company doesn't sell regular great Oreos but also offer Oreos made of dirt and hair.
3. It took more than 35 years but I finally found something sadder than the Tears Of A Clown.
4. What is it, my Jewish friends? Beer? Barbecue Sauce? Paste?
5. Who are these people? And why do I care if they know each other, much less are Good Friends? And what does that have to do with cereal? My head is puzzled.