Strongly Worded Letter

What's Next In That Crazy Country?

One of the great mysteries of the United States, at least to me,  is why you can't pump your own gasoline in Oregon. That's right, when you drive south from my house and cross the bridge from Vancouver, Washington into Portland, Oregon then all of a sudden you are in 1958 when you pull into a service station. I half expect to see girls on roller skates serving milkshakes while I watch the guy fill my tank. Come to think of it, that is not the worse idea ever.

I don't know when the great state of Oregon will put all those attendants out of work and repeal that law but I do know it is the end of a era on Prince Edward Island in eastern Canada this month.

Yes, for the first time since 1973 you can now buy a can of beer in that province. And soft drinks in a can for the first time since 1984.

Prince Edward Island was way ahead of the coming environmental awareness movement when they banned aluminum cans all those decade ago in favor of only refillable glass bottles. Here's why, so says former premier Pat Binns, "A pop bottle is refilled on average 17 times. You can imagine the energy that saves compared to filling a can in Montreal, driving it all the way to P.E.I., putting it through recycling and back into the mainstream again. Environmentally, glass is much better product than a can that has been used once."

The Niagra Falls Review in Ontario, Canada, where I read the story, also points out that "silica, the raw ingredient in glass, is one of the most plentiful and readily available substances on Earth. Aluminum, on the other hand, is a very expensive metal extracted from bauxite at enormous environmental cost."


I know it seems unlikely but I found the news interesting.

This Is Not A Post About Gay Marriage

As you know, The California Supreme Court dropped a gay atomic bomb on Thursday when they overturned the ban on same-sex marriages in that state. But that is not what this post is about, no matter how much I enjoy  seeing Portia Di Rossi kiss a girl even if it is just Ellen DeGeneres.

I've caught some of the coverage on the cable news channels and particularly on talk radio and have had just about an assful  over two things I keep hearing said over and over again.

Thing 1. "We've got to stop these activist judges."

Okay, someone help me here. President Bush was the first person I ever heard use this term and it has caught on like Free Hot Wings ever since. If a judge or court makes a ruling one disagrees with, then they are characterized as "activist judges."  But if one agrees with the ruling then the judge or court was "accurately interpreting the law." Because.....everyone who makes those statements is also a constitutional scholar so they would know?

That doesn't give the judicial branch, generally the most learned of any part of our government, much credit, does it?  In this particular ruling, for instance, the California Supreme Court, where six of the seven were justices were Republican appointees, voted 4-3 to overturn the earlier Appeals court ruling. 

You can read the opinions of all seven and they all justify their individual conclusions based on their interpretations of the Constitution, not based on their personal views on this one issue. They used the same criteria earlier courts used to make discrimination against citizens based on gender and race illegal in this country. I am not saying there aren't any bad judges or judges who sometimes make legal mistakes but that is why we have a higher court in place to have a way to settle any questions. This system worked exactly the way it was designed, regardless of the outcome.

Thing 2: "This ruling lets four wackos hijack the will of the people."

First of all, we've done pretty well in this country with a "majority rules" form of government for a very long time.  51-49 still makes a law in the Senate, and 500,000 to 499,999 still gets you elected as Mayor of any number of good-sized cities in this country. 4-3 means 4 wins.

Secondly, and this one irks me the mostest. It is not the job of the California Supreme Court or any other judge to rule according to the will of the people. No, their job is to rule according to the law. The people can legislate their will as much as they want as long as their wishes do not violate the Constitution. There are lots of laws that I disagree with and many rulings that make me furious. But that doesn't mean judges should care what I think. That is not their job.

Thing 3 (Bonus Thing): This really isn't a post about gay marriage. It is a post about fifth grade civics. Executive Branch, Legislative Branch, Judicial Branch. Rinse. Lather. Repeat.

More Than A Feeling...It's A Job!

This truly is one of the most remarkable rock and roll fantasy stories I have ever heard. Helpful back story for my younger readers (Hi Melissa!): The band Boston had the best selling debut album of all time in 1976. That one sold 17 million copies (!) and they followed it up with several other multi-platinum efforts and hit songs like More Than A Feeling, Don't Look Back, and their #1 charting ballad, Amanda.

Now, highlights from the recent USA Today article:

"One day you're trying to get Home Depot shoppers to apply for in-store credit. The next you're rehearsing with Boston and getting ready for a national summer tour.

'I never could have dreamed this,' says Tommy DeCarlo, 43, Boston's new  frontman, who is taking leave from his credit manager job at a Charlotte Home Depot to perform with the band. "That first gig is going to be something."

Bands ranging from AC/DC to Lynyrd Skynyrd have found new singers in the wake of tragedy (Delp committed suicide last year), inevitably choosing road-tested replacements. DeCarlo's rocking Cinderella tale includes the fact that he never has even been in a band.

'I did sing After the Lovin' at my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary,' says the affable DeCarlo, who is married and has two teenagers. 'I think they enjoyed it.'

All Boston founder Tom Scholz knows is he can't believe his ears. 'During rehearsals, it can get downright eerie,' he says. 'I forget it's not Brad. It makes me feel like someone was at work up there.'

In tribute to Delp, DeCarlo posted MP3 files of himself singing Boston over a karaoke soundtrack on his MySpace page. (He had hocked his prized keyboard in 2006 to buy his kids' Christmas gifts.) An impressed visitor to his page urged him to contact Boston management and offered up an old e-mail address. Doubtful but with nothing to lose, DeCarlo sent off a note with a link. Destiny intervened.

'My wife was at her computer playing our tunes, and I asked her whether it was us playing live,' Scholz says. 'She said, 'It's some guy in North Carolina singing your songs.' I said, 'I know Brad's voice, and that's Brad.' She turned it up, and only when I heard the backing track did I know it wasn't us.'

Scholz flew DeCarlo and his family up for an audition, which led to a Delp tribute show and the tour invite. DeCarlo and the band's other new member, Stryper frontman Michael Sweet, will appear on Boston's next album in early 2009.

Even if DeCarlo's Boston idyll proves short-lived, he's unlikely to forget this summer. His colleagues won't let him.

'It's like we've got our own American Idol winner right here in our store,' says DeCarlo's manager, Mark Ortiz. 'When he plays nearby, we'll all be there, orange aprons on.'

Me again: Isn't that an incredible story?  The fact that he was never even in a band before Boston makes it so much more bizarre  than the real life story of the Judas Priest cover band singer who took over the real thing. That tale was turned into the Rock Star movie, starring Mark Wahlberg.

Tommy Decarlo's Boston plays Seattle July 10th (with Styx!). I am tempted to go and see  Mr. Home Depot for myself.

"You Don't Need To Be A Weatherman...

.....to know which way the wind blows."

Yesterday my brother sent me this photo of a flooded intersection about five miles from where he works in Maryland (that's one of those states you might not have heard of but but trust me, it's real). On a normal week this would make the national news but right now it might not make the top ten weather emergencies in progress.

Seriously, what's the deal? Flooding yesterday in a South African town left more than a thousand families homeless.

There have been more than 100 tornadoes in the Midwest in the last two weeks, killing about two dozen.

The last week of April saw thousands of acres of Southern California blackened by wildfires. This week the same is happening in central Florida.

This month's cyclone in Burma may have claimed 100,000 lives.

Yesterday's 7.9 earthquake in southwest China, the worst in more than thirty years, caused at least 15,000 deaths and counting.

There have been several shark attacks, some fatal, all in the last two weeks at beaches as far flung as Mexico, California, Florida and Australia.

That kid David Archeletta made it to the top three on this season's American Idol.

See what I mean? Disaster after disaster. Is it just me or does it seem like somehow they can't all be coincidentally happening at about the same time? Like they are related in some way I can't see? The Earth is fighting back or something?  Anyone? Beuller? Beuller? Al Gore? Anyone?

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

Do you recognize the woman on the left in this recent news photograph? That's Deborah Jeane Palfrey, recently convicted   of running a Washington call-girl ring. You may have heard her referred to by her media nickname, the D.C. Madam.

The woman on the right in the picture is Deborah's mom. She was in the news last week  too when she found her daughter's body swinging from a nylon rope in her Florida home. It is unusual that suicide notes are released to the public, but she left three.

The first was for whoever found her body:

The second (on the other side of the above Do Not Revive note) was to her mother:

And the third was to her sister Bobbie (Click on each to enlarge):

If you've got  both the time and the interest, do yourself a Google search on "Palfrey murder" and see how the blogosphere has exploded with theories as to why, despite the medical examiner's certainly, this was not a suicide but a murder. Some even suggest the notes are forged, citing "evidence" like this:

Why would her note say, "I cannot live the next 6-8 years behind bars for what both you and I have come to regard as this 'modern day lynching,' only to come out of prison in my late 50s a broken, penniless and very much alone woman."  They point out that most legal analysts expected her prison sentence, scheduled to be handed down July 24, to be more in the two-to-three year range and that she also stood to make millions to write a book in which she named the names of her famous D.C. clients.

Unrelated Editor's Note: One of you will post the 3,000th reader comment on this blog today since going live seven months ago. Thanks to you and everyone else who chooses to make this daily visit interactive.

 

Kentucky Tragedy

 Here's part of the Baltimore Sun's recap of yesterday's disastrous Kentucky Derby running at Churchill Downs.

                        

LOUISVILLE, Ky. - "Eight Belles was grabbing all the real estate she could as she pounded down the front stretch in a long-striding effort to catch Big Brown as he streaked toward victory.

It was a race Big Brown would win by 4 3/4 lengths, but Eight Belles had shown her stamina and determination and the 157,770 fans at Churchill Downs for the 134th Kentucky Derby celebrated as the favorite, followed by the lone filly in the race, came home one-two today.

But the celebration didn't last. As Eight Belles galloped out around the first turn, she stopped and went to her knees and then collapsed on the track.

Eight Belles, a big, strapping daughter of Unbridled's Song who was attempting to become the fourth filly to win the Derby, had broken both of her front ankles.                   

She was immediately euthanized.

'There was no reason to wait,' said Dr. Larry Bramlage, the American Association vet on call.

In the stands trainer Larry Jones saw his filly cross the finish line with her ears up, in no distress and he left the stands elated, having seen Eight Belles join Hard Spun as a second-place finisher for him in back-to-back Derbies. It wasn't until he got to the track that he discovered a horse had gone down and then that it was Eight Belles.

'I was shocked,' said Jones. 'Put her down? We're used to trying to save them now. But when I did see her, there was no doubt it had to be done.'

Bramlage, who has been working at race tracks since 1975, said he had never seen such an injury.

'Sometimes, rarely, you might see a horse suffer something in one leg,' Bramlage said. 'But I've never seen it happen in both like that.'

Eight Belles is the second 3-year-old in three years to be euthanized after injuries in a Triple Crown Race. Barbaro, the 2006 Derby winner, suffered a shattered left front leg in the Preakness Stakes two weeks after winning here."

Bean here. Question: At what price entertainment, you guys? I know that horse racing in this country generates millions of dollars of revenue for those involved and is enjoyed by millions of fans as well. 

But are the animals that are born and bred just to race merely expendable cogs in the money-making machinery? Should we just expect they'll just lose a few as the price of doing business? At the end of the day is Eight Belles' death just like crashing a NASCAR vehicle? Is it, "No sweat, we'll buy another one?"

Here's all I know. At 3:15 yesterday afternoon this very young horse was completely healthy. And through no fault of her own, just ten minutes later, she was completely dead.

Patient Dies

Patient Dies

That was the headline on a news wire service story in the print edition of yesterday's Seattle Post- Intelligencer. It is not the kind of headline that would guarantee I would keep reading but I am glad I took the time. Please join me and you'll see why.


"Denied transplant over pot use: A musician who was denied a liver transplant because he used medical marijuana with medical approval under Washington state law to ease the symptoms of advance hepatitis C died Thursday.

The death of Timothy Garon, 56, at Bailey-Boushay House, an intensive-care nursing center, was confirmed to the Associated Press by his lawyer and a spokeswoman for Virginia Mason Medical Center, which operates Bailey-Boushay.

Garon died a week after his doctor told him a University of Washington Medical Center committee had again denied him a spot on the liver transplant list because of his use of marijuana."


Okay, everybody still with me? The way that deal works, and this is the case in many other states as well, is that you are automatically denied a place on the organ transplant list if you have taken any non-prescription drugs in the past six months. Or taken the one prescription drug that your doctor gives you that is singled out above all others by the U.S. Government as being more dangerous than the rest.

Oh, but you are welcome to re-apply if you are "clean" for six months though, if you are still alive.

When I am running things (I'll get back to you with a date) there will be this new law on the books in my state:

No level of government gets to decide what a doctor can and can not prescribe to his patients.
   

This Is Why You Shouldn't Do Drugs

"Albert Hofmann, who died on Tuesday aged 102, synthesized lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD) in 1938 and became the first person in the world to experience a full-blown acid trip." (Telegraph.co.uk)

Okay, I had two thoughts when I heard the news yesterday. First, anyone who had Dr. Hofmann in his celebrity death pool technically lost ground in the game. The way many of these pools work is on a point system. You generally get 100 points, minus the celebrity's age. That way Miley Cyrus, God  forbid, would be worth  85 points but would be a much gutsier pick than, say, former First Lady Rosalynn Carter, who is on the exact flip side at 15 points. So if you had Hoffman, you owe 2. 

Secondly, he was only 102. Imagine how long he might have lived if he'd stayed clean like his parents probably advised him to. This is why you shouldn't do drugs.

In case the letters LSD mean nothing to you, here is more from the rather interesting Telegraph obituary:

"Hofmann was working as a research chemist in the laboratory of the Sandoz   Company (now Novartis) in Basel, Switzerland, where he was involved in
studying the medicinal properties of plants. This eventually led to the study of the alkaloid compounds of ergot, a fungus which forms on rye.

Hofmann’s studies led to many new discoveries such as Hydergine, a medicament for improvement of circulation and cerebral function and Dihydergot, a circulation and blood pressure stabilizing medicine.

His interest in synthesising LSD was stimulated at first by the hope that it might also be useful as a circulatory and respiratory stimulant.

But when his molecule, known as LSD-25, was tested on animals, no interesting effects were observed, though the research notes recorded that the beasts became “restless” during narcosis. The substance was dismissed as of no interest and dropped from Sandoz’s research programme.

But five years later, acting on some intuition, Hofmann decided to resynthesise LSD. In his autobiography, LSD, My Problem Child (1979), he recalled that in the final stage of the synthesis, he was interrupted by some unusual sensations.

In a note to the laboratory’s director, he reported 'a remarkable restlessness, combined with a slight dizziness. At home I lay down and sank into a not unpleasant intoxicated-like condition, characterized by an extremely stimulated imagination.'

'In a dreamlike state, with eyes closed, I perceived an uninterrupted stream of fantastic pictures, extraordinary shapes with intense, kaleidoscopic play of colors. After some two hours this condition faded away.'

Hofmann concluded that he must have accidentally breathed in or ingested some   laboratory material and assumed LSD was the cause. To test the theory he waited until the next working day, Monday April 19 1943, and tried again, swallowing 0.25 of a milligram.

Forty minutes later, his laboratory journal recorded 'dizziness, feeling of anxiety, visual distortions, symptoms of paralysis, desire to laugh.'

Unable to write any more, he asked his assistant to take him home by bicycle. 'On the way home, my condition began to assume threatening forms.'

'Everything in my field of vision wavered and was distorted as if seen in a curved mirror. I also had the sensation of being unable to move from the spot. Nevertheless, my assistant later told me that we had traveled very rapidly.'

Back home, when a friendly neighbour brought round some milk, he perceived her as a 'malevolent, insidious witch wearing a lurid mask.' After six hours of highs and lows, the effects subsided.

Sandoz, keen to make a profit from Hofman’s discovery, gave the new substance the trade name Delysid and began sending samples out to psychiatric researchers.

By 1965 more than 2,000 papers had been published offering hope for a range of conditions from drug and alcohol addiction to mental illnesses of various sorts.

But the fact that it was cheap and easy to make left it open to abuse and from   the late 1950s onwards, promoted by Dr. Timothy Leary and others, LSD became the recreational drug of choice for alienated western youth.

An outbreak of moral panic, combined with a number of accidents involving people jumping to their deaths off high buildings thinking they could fly, led governments around the world to ban LSD.

Research also showed that the drug taken in high doses and in inappropriate settings, often caused panic reactions. For certain individuals, a bad trip seemed to be the trigger for full-blown psychosis.

Hofmann was disappointed when his discovery was removed from commercial distribution. He remained convinced that the drug had the potential to counter the psychological problems induced by 'materialism, alienation from nature through industrialization and increasing urbanization, lack of satisfaction in professional employment in a mechanized, lifeless working world, ennui and purposelessness in wealthy, saturated society, and lack of a religious, nurturing, and meaningful philosophical foundation of life.'

Good times.  

Vamonos! Vamonos!

As you know, we do not have anything resembling a secure border policy in this country.  The current administration gave great lip service to getting serious about knowing who comes in and out of America after 9/11 but more than six years on (six years!) it is just as easy today to walk from Mexico into Texas as it was in 2001.   

Blog readers living along the southern U.S. border states will no doubt recognize the sign to the left. The Los Angeles Times recently ran a fascinating article about the artist behind this iconic 'running immigrant' sign.

Here are a few tidbits from the paper's profile of John Hood, the California Department of Transportation graphic artist who designed it.

1)  Hood is now 59 years old, close to retirement and has worked for Caltrans for 27 years.

2) His most famous sign went up in 1990, after more than a hundred immigrants were killed on Interstate 5 trying to cross over.  

3) In one earlier version of the sign "the characters had eyes and other features; officials felt those would be too detailed for motorists to discern at high speed. In another, the mother juggled a baby and a sweater, but that too was deemed overly complicated for the freeway."

4) "Comic Carlos Mencia 'whose family immigrated to East L.A. from Honduras when he was an infant -- filmed a segment based on the sign. 'Maybe,' Mencia says at one point in the segment, 'it's telling them: Run across the freeway. Just do it really fast.'"

5) "A photograph of the sign is hanging at the National Museum of American History, part of the Smithsonian Institution in Washington," where it is described as "without a doubt, an icon of the current immigration debate. It's taken on meaning that was never intended."

To read the whole article, click here and thanks to  blog reader Chris for the  suggestion.

Actually, I Prefer Rosemary.....

In the last few years the media have placed more emphasis than ever on a new movie's opening weekend box office. If you are not #1 or at least made more money than predicted in your first three days in the theater than you are shamed and ridiculed as a failure.

I saw several articles online yesterday suggesting that the  apparent #2 finish of  the new movie Leatherheads, about the early days of professional football in America, might be some sort of backlash toward its writer/director/star George Clooney.

Here are a few sample comments from readers left on one of the Hollywood news sites, some edited for length and/or decency:

"I could never understand the 'Clooney is a movie star' assertion. Just saying it doesn’t make it so. Hollywood’s fawning over him is sickening. His smugness is unbelieveable. I cannot sit in a theater and watch him in a movie. His persona in films seems to be misogynist. When he held a press conference to rage against the press after Princess Diana’s death - My GOD! The guy’s arrogance is breathtaking. Who does he think he is? He’s a goddam TV actor. This is why Hollywood is so f***ed. When you’ve got TV actors thinking they are auteurs, we’re f***ed. This probably explains why his movies make no money. Why would the average Joe spend 10 bucks to see this arrogant actor when he may lose his job at the factory tomorrow? Sorry to rant, but Clooney has been bugging me for a while."

"The Ocean’s movies STUNK! George Clooney is a monotone, a talentless f***! And his political rants just reveal more about his lack of character and egotistical need for attention."

"George Clueless - please, you couldn’t pay me to go see one of his bombs. I can’t stand him, when I have, by accident, seen him try to act, it was stiff and uninspiring. When I see he is in a movie, I pass right by.

Hollywood just gets weaker by the day. I am not interested in their politics and views of the world. I just want to be entertained when I go to see a movie, not lectured to. I want to see actors who view their careers as acting and don’t pretend their wealth and limited education gives them credibility in science, economics, foreign affairs, etc."

"It’s always a delight to see the work of a self-annointed priest from the propaganda office of Hollywood, the left-wing Vatican, fail miserably."

"I’m sick of arrogance and Hollywood actors who deem to lecture me on the wisdom of their political beliefs. They are actors and they need to shut up and act. At one time Hollywood made timeless movies with great stars who were talented and larger than life. It’s gone now, and we’re left with vapid intelligence and arrogant actors lecturing those they consider the unwashed. Pathetic. I won’t see a George Clooney vehicle, ever. Box office is the only thing Hollywood gets."

"Clooney is ANOTHER of the undereducated/uneducated of Hollywood who try to tell the rest of us how we should think and live. These jerks forget that there are more folks in flyover country than there are in New York City or LA. WE determine who is going to be a box office draw and WE decide who won’t make it at the box office. It’s the sycophants in Hollywood who cannot say NO to a no-talent hack like Clooney."

"I’ve never seen Clooney in anything and I plan to keep it that way. For some reason, he just isn’t appealing, but I can’t comment on his acting. I abhor his personality so I will never see anything he is in. Hope this helps."

And on it goes for literally hundreds of posts. Do you think they're right when they suggest that Clooney's movies are being boycotted due to his crazy political views? If so, what about the eight movies he's been in that have grossed over 50 millions dollars in the United States? Or do we only boycott the ones we weren't going to see anyway?

Look, I didn't make it to Leatherheads because like millions of others in the target demo for this film, I had  the NCAA Final Four Tournament to watch for seven hours yesterday!  For other potential customers, maybe a sports film set in the 1930s isn't that appealing. Plus there have to be a lot of folks that very much dislike looking at Renee Zellweger's scrunchy face.   

If you are among the boycotters, I totally back your right to make the statement with your wallet that you will not voluntarily support someone's art whose politics you disagree with. Please help me better understand your parameters though:

1) How much formal education is required before one's opinions are considered valid? And are there any people with multiple degrees who are just as wrong?   

2) If an entertainer is equally outspoken politically ("in your face" came up a lot on the boards) but shares your views, is it also offensive?   

3) Besides actors and singers, what other occupations do you stop patronizing if you know their views differ from your own? Do you switch dentists? Stop rooting for a sports team? Go to a different Starbucks?    

 

Never Gonna Give You Up

I stumbled upon (in an old school way, meaning I didn't Stumble Upon them) a local blog called Citizen Rain this weekend whose home page states, "We serve up the day's most interesting links from 295 Seattle blogs and the media." I will certainly be bookmarking their page especially when the first story I read there was this gem:

                                                    

"Ever heard of 'rickrolling?' According to the (Spokane) Spokesman Review, it's a prank in which someone clicks on a internet link and ends up watching a video by Rick Astley – the 80s singer (pictured here) famous for the song Never Gonna Give You Up.'

"The Spokesman today reports that an Eastern Washington University student pulled a fast one on a New York Times reporter writing a story about 'rickrolling.' Twenty-two-year-old Pawl Fisher posted a YouTube video of someone lip-syncing Never Gonna Give You Up at an EWU women's basketball game. If you watch, it looks like the entire game comes to a pause as cheerleaders, athletes and audience members start rocking out to the song."






"The video ended up in a March 24 NYT article, with the reporter writing: 'A routine timeout turned into a 1980s flashback, as two men on the sidelines briefly hijacked the proceedings with a popular prank known as rickrolling.' But the incident never really happened – Pawl is an aspiring film-maker. He crafted the scene with film editing. 'My intention was never to punk the New York Times,' he told the Spokesman. 'My intention was to punk the whole planet.'"

"Ever heard of 'rickrolling?' According to the (Spokane) Spokesman Review, it's a prank in which someone clicks on a internet link and ends up watching a video by Rick Astley – the 80s singer (pictured here) famous for the song Never Gonna Give You Up.'

"The Spokesman today reports that an Eastern Washington University student pulled a fast one on a New York Times reporter writing a story about 'rickrolling.' Twenty-two-year-old Pawl Fisher posted a YouTube video of someone lip-syncing Never Gonna Give You Up at an EWU women's basketball game. If you watch, it looks like the entire game comes to a pause as cheerleaders, athletes and audience members start rocking out to the song."






"The video ended up in a March 24 NYT article, with the reporter writing: 'A routine timeout turned into a 1980s flashback, as two men on the sidelines briefly hijacked the proceedings with a popular prank known as rickrolling.' But the incident never really happened – Pawl is an aspiring film-maker. He crafted the scene with film editing. 'My intention was never to punk the New York Times,' he told the Spokesman. 'My intention was to punk the whole planet.'"

"You Are Being Hijacked..."

"On Wednesday, November 24, 1971, the day before Thanksgiving, a man traveling under the name Dan Cooper boarded a Boeing 727-100, Northwest Orient Airlines Flight 305 (FAA Reg. N467US), flying from Portland International Airport in Portland, Oregon to Seattle, Washington.

Cooper was described as being in his mid-forties, and between 5 feet 10 inches and 6 feet tall. He wore a black raincoat, loafers, a dark suit, a neatly pressed white collared shirt, a black necktie, black sunglasses and a mother-of-pearl tie pin. Cooper sat in the back of the plane in seat 18C.

After the jet had taken off from Portland, he handed a note to a young flight attendant named Florence Schaffner, who was seated in a jumpseat attached to the aft stair door, situated directly behind and to the left of Cooper's seat. She thought he was giving her his phone number, so she slipped it, unopened, into her pocket.  Cooper leaned closer and said, "Miss, you'd better look at that note. I have a bomb." In the envelope was a note that read: "I have a bomb in my briefcase. I will use it if necessary. I want you to sit next to me. You are being hijacked."

The note also provided demands for $200,000, in unmarked $20 bills, and two sets of parachutes—two main back chutes and two emergency chest chutes. The note carried instructions ordering the items to be delivered to the plane when it landed at Seattle-Tacoma airport; if the demands were not met, he would blow up the plane..."

So begins the unusually well expressed Wikipedia entry on D.B. Cooper, the man famous for pulling off the world's only unsolved skyjacking. He's still a local legend here in the Pacific Northwest but his story has continued to fascinate people all over the globe in the 36 years since he jumped and either got away with it or died trying.

If you are new to the story, you owe it to yourself to read the rest of this Wiki entry to read all about the theories, investigations and clues, plus the aftermath of the hijacking (hello, metal detectors at airports!).

Why bring this up now? Perhaps a break in the case just this month.  It's  potentially the most significant new development since 1980 when a family on a picnic near the Columbia River found $5,880 of Cooper's money in a bag on the beach. 

A few days ago a man was plowing part of his rural property near Amboy, Washington  and uncovered what might be the NB6 parachute that was on Cooper's back as he jumped from a plane going nearly 200 miles per hour and 10,000 feet up in the night sky.

The FBI is still investigating and is seeking people with expert knowledge of this type of chute as well as with any new information about the Cooper case, through the Bureau website.   

 

You Fascinate Me, Tell Me More

The world is a much more engrossing place when you read past the headlines and seek out the details.

The BBC news website agrees and publishes a regular column called 10 Things We Didn't Know Last Week.

Here are some interesting facts usually gleaned from getting past the first paragraph of some recent news stories. (Thanks to blog reader Sean for the tip)

Archimedes was murdered over pi.  More details

Forty years after color TV was introduced to the UK there are still 34,700 people with black and white television licenses.  More details

Arthur C Clarke wrote story-lines for the comic-book hero, Dan Dare.  More details

There are frogs that use semaphore.  More details

A bear helped carry ammunition for Polish troops during World War II.  More details

Men eat more Brussel sprouts and broccoli than women.  More details

Dishcloths are purged of 99% of their bacteria during two minutes in a microwave.  More details

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez hosts a daily radio phone-in show.   More details

The average duvet is home to 20,000 live dust mites.   More details

There is mobile phone reception from the summit of Mount Everest.   More details

Kryptonite exists.  More details

Zombies can't run because their ankles would snap.
More details

People can have four kidneys.
More details

The secret to happiness is accepting misery.   More details

Dig Deeper!

Here's the opening paragraph of a story I read in the USA Today newspaper Friday:

BAGHDAD -  "The body of a Chaldean Catholic archbishop was found in a shallow grave in northern Iraq on Thursday, two weeks after he was kidnapped by gunman in one of the most dramatic attacks against the country's small Christian community..."

Looks like business  as usual to me.  Nope, not talking about the continuing violence in Iraq or the misery it means for its people. I'm talking about yet the latest example of the bad guys being potentially foiled by trying to get away with burying the victim in a shallow grave.

Seriously, what is that deal? Why go to all the effort to kidnap and then kill a dude only to wimp out on the follow through. I know six feet is a lot of dirt to shovel but  if you leave the archbishop in three inches of soil then you're not fooling anyone.

A quick Google News search for the term shallow grave displayed example after example from the last month alone of killers continuing to be lazy when it really counts.

DETROIT — "Police are investigating the discovery of two bodies found in a vacant field on the city's west side. The bodies were found behind a home Friday afternoon. One body was found in a shallow grave and another was under a mattress..."

MEXICO CITY - "The remains of 33 people were found in a shallow grave on an abandoned property in the border town of Ciudad Juarez.  Authorities believe the mass burial to be linked to the city's violent drug trade..."

Philippines - "The body of a man thought to be Indonesian bomb expert Dulmatin, one of those behind the Bali bombings, was recovered from a shallow grave in the island of Tawi-tawi, said Major General Ben Dolorfino..."

Biddaddaba, Australia - "The skeletal remains of a man found in the Gold Coast hinterland had lain buried in a shallow grave for more than six months..."

Look, people, didn't your daddy ever tell you that if it's worth doing, it's worth doing right? Put in the extra effort and keep digging. What's another hour to button everything up at the end of  the day? In the long run, you'll sleep better.

 

Ho Ho Ho

Sooooooooooo....anything going on with the Governor of New York lately? Oh, wait, it's the only thing on television for 72 hours now because America loves its sex scandals more than anything in the whole wide world.

Newsweek ran an entertaining recap of some past celebrity johns and their hos this week reminding us of everyone from Jerry Springer (who got caught because he paid the girl by check- ha ha) to Hugh Grant (who had freaking Liz Hurley at home - hello?) to  Jimmy Swaggart ( best man tears ever). Click here for all the memories.

That reminds me. Look, I know Eliot Spitzer is a scumbag. I'm not defending him. He deserves to lose his job and his wife. But I have to ask something to make sure I am clear on the  particulars of how our crazy prostitution laws work in this country.

If a guy pays a chick fifty bucks to have sex with him then they are both breaking the law and could be arrested, prosecuted and incarcerated. But if the same guy pays the same chick fifty bucks to have sex with him but records it and sells it as a movie, then it is 100% legal and protected by the First Amendment. Do I have that correct?   

Okay, okay, if the same guy pays the same chick fifty bucks to have sex with him then they get arrested again and now they are really in trouble as repeat offenders, right? But if that guy takes his lady friend out to a fifty dollar dinner instead and then has sex with her then it's called dating?


My head hurts.

Don't Worry, Be Happier

I wasn't going to blog about that new survey's results on happiness when I saw it last week but I got to thinking about it again yesterday.

In case you missed it, here is an edited synopsis from the Los Angeles Times:

"The road to happiness is U-shaped.

New research this week has found that happiness over the course of a lifetime follows a universal curve in which the greatest bliss occurs at the beginning and end of life, while misery dominates middle age.

The pattern was consistent around the globe, according to the report, which examined social survey data on 2 million people in 80 countries, including the United States.

The study, conducted by economists Andrew Oswald of the University of Warwick in England and David Blanchflower of Dartmouth College in New Hampshire, set out to look at the relationship between age and happiness.

Researchers controlled for other factors that affect happiness, such as divorce, job loss and income.

The researchers, whose study will be published in the journal Social Science & Medicine, found that in the United States happiness reached its lowest point around age 40 in women and age 50 in men.

Oswald was perplexed by the results. He said it was possible that in midlife people learn to accept their strengths and weaknesses and abandon unrealistic aspirations."

I am perplexed too. Sure, I can understand the high levels of satisfaction among 20 years old, at one peak on the graph. They are optimistic, hopeful and stupid. But I guess I can't yet know why 80 years olds are just as happy. I imagine I'll be terrified about waking up dead every morning. That is if I even make it that far.

As for abandoning "unrealistic aspirations," as the researcher suggests to explain the low happiness levels for Americans in their 40s, I have left most of mine behind.  I've gradually accepted that I will not be an astronaut or a baseball player and I will never own a tapir.

I was also forced to examine just how little I have accomplished when I realized that Senator Barack Obama, who at this point in the '08 campaign is still a viable candidate to be the next President of the United States, is younger than I am. I have trouble working a can opener and this guy might run the country?

Thoughts On A Giant Rat

As a guy who likes to stay informed on breaking news I am a frequent visitor to Google Trends, a site I've mentioned it in this space before; it's like a record chart of songs bubbling under the Hot 100. 

Don't misunderstand. These aren't the most common searches for that hour. Those are almost always the usual suspects, Britney Spears, Hannah Montana, Jessica Alba, etc. No, this is a constantly updated web page of the Google searches with most new upward action.

I clicked on over yesterday around noon and was surprised, perhaps naively, that Groundhog Day was still as popular as is was. Seven of the top ten search terms related to the holiday.

1. "groundhog day 2008"
2. "punxutawney phil"
3. "did the groundhog see his shadow"
4. "puxatony phil"
5. "ground hog"
6. "punksatony phil"
8. "groundhog phil"

other mentions on the list included

15. "punxsutawney pa"
33. "groundhog video"
38. "groundhog results"
48. "groundhog prediction"
51. "groundhog news"
68. "gobblers knob"

In case you are wondering which is which, search #15 is the correct spelling of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania where the Groundhog Day event takes place each February 2d.

Every year I keep expecting it to be the last for this charade. To me, it's like the Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon, something that transfixed America at one time but is now barely hanging on thanks to a few old people. Once they die, is this a tradition that young people are really going to continue? Pulling a rodent out of a box and and using it as a cover to be wrong more often than not in trying to predict the weather? No please.

P.S. By the way, Phil did see his shadow which means you should take the Giants and the points.

There Oughta Not Be A Law

This tiny web page likely couldn't contain a list of all the things that are illegal in this county that I believe shouldn't be. And not just the fun ones like marijuana possession, gambling, and prostitution either, but other less sensational no-nos like wearing baggy pants and paying college athletes.

In fact, when I'm running things (or Ron Paul is, whichever comes first), you won't have to worry about stories like this one anymore, from yesterday's USA Today.

India busts alleged kidney transplant ring

NEW DELHI (AP) — Police said they were raiding hospitals and guest houses Monday as part of their investigation into an illegal transplant racket that allegedly removed kidneys from up to 500 poor laborers and sold their organs to wealthy clients.

Police suspect that dozens of doctors were involved in the kidney racket, which had a waiting list of some 40 people hailing from at least five countries.

The scam, centered in Gurgaon — a posh suburb of New Delhi — used luxury cars outfitted with blood-testing machines to test donors on the fly as well as sophisticated surgical equipment hidden inside a residential neighborhood.

Accounts varied on whether the laborers were aware they were selling their kidneys or whether doctors removed them without their consent. Under Indian law, the sale of human organs is illegal under any circumstances, though organ donations are allowed.

Mohd Salim, a man who lost his kidney, said the scam began when a stranger approached him to offer him work.

"I was taken to a room with gunmen," Salim told the NDTV television news channel. "They tested my blood, gave me an injection, and I lost consciousness. When I woke up, I had pain in my lower abdomen and I was told that my kidney had been removed."

He didn't say if he was paid, but the Hindustan Times newspaper reported that those who were paid for their organs earned $1,250.

The kidney ring had a waiting list of dozens of people from India, the United States and Greece, according to the Hindustan Times. Several patients waiting for a transplant were at the facilities when police raided them Friday, but they were allowed to return to their countries without being held for questioning."

(end of article)

Look, if someone wants to sell his kidney we should just let him. There is no excuse for people to be drugged and wake up with a surgical scar in a bathtub full of ice.

Now that I know that this story is true and not just another urban legend I am totally going to look into Microsoft paying me $245.00 every time I forward an email so that they can "make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program." 

I know it sounds crazy but "Fw: PLEEEEEEEEASE REEEEEAD! IT WAS ON GOOD MORNING AMERICA TODAY SHOW"

O Death

2008 is shaping up to be the bloodiest year in recent memory and no, I'm not talking about the wars in Iraq or Afghanistan. How about someone looking into who is killing so many of our celebrities?

We're only three weeks in and here who's already gone.         

"Suzanne Pleshette, the beautiful, husky-voiced film and theater star best known for her role as Bob Newhart's sardonic wife on television's long-running "The Bob Newhart Show," has died, said her attorney Robert Finkelstein. She was 70."

"Bobby Fischer, the reclusive American chess master who became a Cold War icon when he dethroned the Soviet Union's Boris Spassky as world champion in 1972, has died. He was 64."

"Maila Nurmi, who became synonymous with her character Vampira, the television hostess who presented horror movies in the 1950s has died at 86."

"Brad Renfro, the troubled young actor whose film career began at age 12 with "The Client," has died. He was 25."

"Christopher Bowman, the former U.S. figure skating champion dubbed "Bowman the Showman" for his flair on the ice, died Thursday. He was 40."

"Sir Edmund Hillary, the unassuming beekeeper who conquered Mount Everest to win renown as one of the 20th century's greatest adventurers, has died, New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark announced Friday. He was 88."

"Hollywood's honorary mayor Johnny Grant, best-known for unveiling stars on Tinseltown's 'Walk of Fame,' has died aged 84, city officials said Thursday."

"Allan Melvin, a character actor best known for playing Sam the Butcher on "The Brady Bunch," has died. He was 84."

"Singer John Stewart, who came to prominence in the 1960s as a member of the Kingston Trio, but was best known for writing the Monkees' enduring hit "Daydream Believer," died Saturday. He was 68."

You sometimes hear celebrities die in threes - how about tens, the way we're going? Do you, like me, wonder who's next?  One site, Deathlist.com makes predictions at the start of each year as to who is most likely to go next but I am not that impressed by the breadth of their selections.

They seem to be just playing the age odds by picking mostly celebrities in their eighties (Charlton Heston, Fidel Castro, Fats Domino)  and nineties (Karl Malden, Eli Wallach, Kirk Douglas).

I'd like to see some daring out of....er....into the box strategy with some picks like Keanu Reeves (43), Dane Cook (35), or best of all, Hallie Eisenberg (15), who used to be that ugly annoying kid in all the Pepsi commercials.

Close Encounter Of The Unlikely Kind

Look, you'd be hard pressed to find a more enthusiastic, open-minded listener than I when it comes to hearing UFO stories. Like my old TV friend Fox Mulder, I Want To Believe.

But while the latest story to capture headlines, this one in Stephenville, Texas, is causing excitement among some, I have to yawn.   

Some highlights from USA Yesterday:

"In this farming community where nightfall usually brings clear, starry skies, residents are abuzz over reported sightings of what many believe is a UFO.

Several dozen people — including a pilot, county constable and business owners — insist they have seen a large silent object with bright lights flying low and fast. Some reported seeing fighter jets chasing it.

"People wonder what in the world it is because this is the Bible Belt, and everyone is afraid it's the end of times," said Steve Allen, a freight company owner and pilot who said the object he saw last week was a mile long and half a mile wide. "It was positively, absolutely nothing from these parts."

While federal officials insist there's a logical explanation, locals swear that it was larger, quieter, faster and lower to the ground than an airplane. They also said the object's lights changed configuration, unlike those of a plane. People in several towns who reported seeing it over several weeks have offered similar descriptions of the object ...".   Blah blah blah...Read the whole article here.

Why does the story leave this reporter cold? Because, like thousands of other sightings, there is still a question  as to what was seen, if anything.

My patience is exhausted with "I saw lights moving fast across the sky." At this point in history there are more recording devices in more hands  covering more of the world than ever before. I need a Day The Earth Stood Still type sighting, or to my younger readers, an Independence Day visit from whatever is supposedly out there and taking the time to come all the way to our planet just to graze the tree line before heading home.       

Not to  naively assume that they would act just like us, but if the roles were reversed and we were visiting their far away home  we would want to meet them, see them, study them, and, if I know our species, possibly kill them. We would never get there and try to hide, right? Then why have we had 60 years of cat-and-mouse UFO sightings?

Do I think they are out there? Absolutely. Have they visited  us? No. And I don't think it is the power problem or the vast distances between worlds that is most likely to prevent it from happening. I think it is that intelligent humans have only been on Earth for a relative blink-of- the-eye in the big picture; a few million or a few thousand years depending on whether you trust science or Mike Huckabee. The chances that someone comes knocking while we are at home is pretty remote. 

By the way, I will be really ticked off if I die and just miss meeting E.T..  Unlike those who are afraid of inter-species contact, I wish for it every day. Then finally we could stop talking about Britney.

 

Saturday Smorgasbord

1) R.I.P. Vampira. Who knew she was still alive? But now I am sad.

2) This may be the cutest baby I've ever seen. Kinda hairy though. Wait, what's that?




3) Y'all know how I feel about puppies. What you don't know is that piglets are even cuter. Even fluorescent ones.

4)  Watch last night's episode (#211) of Friday Night Lights at NBC.com  and  I'll give you a dollar* if you can name a better actor on television than Kyle Chandler. Watch it.  I'm not asking you, I'm telling you.

5)  America loves Brett Favre. I get that. I do too. But he's won his ring.  Now it's time for his former backup QB Matt Hasselback to get his. To get another shot at it all the Seahawks have to start by beating the heavily favored Packers today on the hallowed and frozen tundra of Lambeau Field, 1265 Lombardi Ave., Green Bay, Wisconsin, 54307.  Yes please.      

*dollar not included

House Of Wachs

Have you just about had an ass full of this Writer's Guild strike? Are you going through major Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert withdrawals?

Well, until those shows return on Monday, here's a 5 minute band-aid. My friend Larry Wachs* has hooked up with a comedy site called SuperDeluxe to present the weekly webisode  What's Your Story?  Here's his latest episode.

I have known Larry since Air Supply were popular and believe him to be one of the funniest guys in America. It is endemic to the decline of radio in recent years that a talk show host as talented as he has been out of work for over a year at the same time the industry moans and whines about losing audience share to ipods and satellites.

Do yourself a favor and bookmark Larry's blog here. I see that he has recently implemented a new feature that is new to me called Ether. It looks like it is a third party application that can put two people on the phone together without either being able to see the other's phone number. Interesting. 

*Readers in Los Angeles or Atlanta will remember Larry's many years on the air as the more obnoxious and more right-wing half of  The Regular Guys.

What A Difference A Day Makes

Y'all know how much I love the mug shots, I have written about them here on this blog even. Now a great one that comes with a delighful twist.

Her name is Kumari Fulbright, a law student at the  University of Arizona.  The 25-year-old former Miss Pima County and  Miss Arizona pageant contestant is charged with robbery, kidnapping and torture!  Well, if you want to call sticking a butcher knife in her ex-boyfriend's  ear, pointing a pistol at him and biting him while he was tied up "torture."  Good times.

What makes this story notable, though, is her extraordinary before and  after photos. The first one is an undated publicity shot. Next is her booking photo from the Tucson Police Department.  Really good times.

.

George And Elizabeth

President George Washington, meet Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.

Something strange has been going on with my money lately. It is not uncommon anywhere in America to receive Canadian coins in ones change, but it is particularly so in my corner of the map where many of us frequently go back and forth between the countries. 

Of course I know technically that U.S. retailers don't accept foreign currency but in my experience they always take Canadian coins anyway. The quarters and pennies are about the same size and color and I always suspected that cashiers threw them in the register with their American counterparts and  never thought twice about it. I never pointed them out when I received them in my change either because they are essentially interchangeable. It's Canada, right? These aren't yen or euros or shekels or kroners or something else weird.

Until this week, that is. Now all of a sudden three different people in  smocks behind a counter have hurled the Q