I didn't notice it. I didn't care about it. I probably would have never even thought twice about it. But Donna insisted I one day ask a doctor what the hell was going on with my freaky belly button.
Mine is not strictly an outie like I've seen on other people and it is certainly nowhere near an innie. So what is it?
I was in a medical office a couple of weeks ago on an unrelated matter and decided to ask. Dr. WhiteCoat poked his finger in my stomach knot and then licked it. Okay, he didn't lick it. i made that up. But he did very casually remark, "Oh, you have a herniated navel."
I went to the Wiki and here is the gist of a herniated navel:
"Umbilical hernia is a congenital malformation, especially common in infants of African descent, and more frequent in boys. (Ed. note: Check and check.)
A hernia is present at the site of the umbilicus (commonly called a navel, or belly button) in the newborn; although sometimes quite large, these hernias tend to resolve without any treatment by around the age of 5 years.
Babies are prone to this malformation because of the process during fetal development by which the abdominal organs form outside the abdominal cavity, later returning into it through an opening which will become the umbilicus."
I had to read that twice but I think I got it. Body stuff that formed on the outside was supposed to go through my belly button to live on the inside for the rest of my life. Not all of it made it through. What's left is what I see.
The doctor mentioned I could have a procedure to "fix" it. Look, if I'm not going to have surgery on this face i am certainly not going to have it for my belly button.
I warned you in the very headline of this post that you do not want to see this. Remember that? Then why are you even thinking of clicking here? Don't do it! And if you ignore my advice, the complaint desk is closed. We have lint to manage.