Like most Americans, Donna and I were talking about Michael Phelps last night. I asked how many endorsement contracts the Golden Boy of the Olympics will be signing when he returns home from China. Her answer? All of them! I have to agree with her.
But not so fast, Mad Men! Michael Phelps and I have a great deal in common and I am far, far cheaper to hire as your pitchmen. True, I am not much of a swimmer and have not even won one gold medal - much less a dozen - but we are practically twins when it comes to training.
At least the eating part. The New York Post just broke down what Phelps (and I) eat every day during these Olympic Summer Games.
"Eat, sleep and swim. That's all I can do," Phelps told NBC when asked what he needs to win medals. "Get some calories into my system and try to recover the best I can."
By comparison, the average man of the same age needs to ingest about 2,000 calories a day.
Phelps, 23, will swim 17 times over nine days of competition at the Beijing Games - meaning that he will need all the calories he can shovel in his mouth in order to keep his energy levels high.
Phelps' diet - which involves ingesting 4,000 calories every time he sits down for a meal - resembles that of a reckless overeater rather than an Olympian.
Phelps lends a new spin to the phrase 'Breakfast of Champions' by starting off his day by eating three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise.
He follows that up with two cups of coffee, a five-egg omelet, a bowl of grits, three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar and three chocolate-chip pancakes.
At lunch, Phelps gobbles up a pound of enriched pasta and two large ham and cheese sandwiches slathered with mayo on white bread - capping off the meal by chugging about 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks.
For dinner, Phelps really loads up on the carbs - what he needs to give him plenty of energy for his five-hours-a-day, six-days-a-week regimen - with a pound of pasta and an entire pizza. He
washes all that down with another 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks."
Me too! And by-the-way, I have that same body that Michael is forcing you to look at above. I just don't feel the need to walk around on TV all day with no shirt on. Sheesh, what a show-off!