Strongly Worded Letter

Would You Like Some Desert With That?

Quick, what do the following celebrities have in common?

If you said, "Well, they are all dead white people," I can't argue with you but that is not I was looking for. Frank Sinatra, Dinah Shore, Gene Autry, Bob Hope, Ginger Rogers and Gerald Ford all have streets named after them in Palm Springs, California. By the way, if you were able to identify both Dinah and Ginger, congratulations! You just came out.

Perhaps you should relocate to Palm Springs. Did you know it has the highest percentage of gay and lesbian residents in America? Suck on that, San Francisco!

I didn't know about all the streets either but I was in Palm Springs for less than day this week on business and saw each of those names on street signs on the way from my hotel back to the airport. I am willing to bet that other one time locals like Dean Martin, Liberace, Sonny Bono and Ronald Reagan must have received a similar honor there too but I did not see those with my own eyes this trip.

I'll tell you what I did see though. A decent sized city that people actually live in that some a-hole decided to build in the middle of the freakin' desert!!! It was already Africa hot there. Seriously, in the month of April does it need to be in the mid to upper 90s? And that's Celsius! Stop it.

Suggestion Box

You solved the mystery of missing Dairy Queen last Saturday (it burned down) and I come to you again, just a week later, for more help.

Where should I go on vacation?

Here's the deal. After work this Friday I am off for nine days. As of right now I have no plans and will most likely stay home like I usually do. But I am also itching to put this tough week behind me and have some fun somewhere. 

I love road trips. I love visiting museums and historical sites. I enjoy anything that is the World's Largest. I especially appreciate neat photo-taking opportunities. 

Now the problem.  Nearly all of the places that spring to mind when I think about the cities I most want to visit are Northern Hemisphere cold weather places where a visit in March is half the experience of a visit in summer or autumn.


Ottawa. That was my big early brainstorm for this trip. I have visited much of Canada, from Victoria to Edmonton to Montreal but have not yet traveled to that great country's capital. I've read much about its beautiful architecture, the exquisite Rideau Canal, the maple syrup farms, the Canadian Currency Museum and on an on.

Oh, and it's 10 degrees there this morning (yes, Fahrenheit. I checked). And quite a bit further north than Seattle meaning even shorter days in which to sight see. And that's the same problem with the other places on my wish list from Nova Scotia to Helsinki.

Expand my world. What is the great vacation destination I don't know about and why? Where do you want me blogging from next weekend?

   

I Got Served (Two Terms)

Yeah, yesterday was Presidents' Day, which by-the-way is still officially known by the U.S. Government as Washington's Birthday, and I celebrated like I always do: writing another chapter in the book of haiku about Benjamin Harrison that is my life's work. 

As patriotic and appropriate as that was as a way to spend the holiday, I have to say that my beautiful bride Donna totally out-Presidented me yesterday.

She and her Pop were in Simi Valley, California visiting the Ronald  Reagan Presidential Library. They even got their photo taken on board Air Force One! She reports back that it was a wonderful way to spend the afternoon and if there was any bad news it's that they recently took down the portrait mosaic made of jelly beans that hung in the library.

That news, unfortunately, makes the just released yesterday new book Oval Office Oddities already outdated. Author Bill Fawcett suggest these other fascinating places to visit too and I'm pretty sure they are still there.

In Washington D.C., the USS Sequoia, the 104 foot former Presidential yacht, now open for tours, where you can see the scratch in the table where Harry Truman damaged it with a cigar cutter after a particularly bad hand of cards.

In Palm Springs, California, the Seven Lakes Country Club, where former president Eisenhower shot his very first hole-in-one after decades of playing golf.

Back to D.C., the Willard Hotel, where the term "lobbyist" was born! President Grant hung out in the lobby there almost every night  for a drink and a cigar and people would wait there for him to get there so they could get his ear.

Springfield, Illinois, Abe Lincoln's tomb. Go to hear the story of the two guys who tried to steal the body in 1876. They would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for some meddling kids. P.S. There was no law against stealing a body in Illinois so they were only charged with breaking the lock on the tomb.

P.S.  I should have remembered this in time for yesterday's post but here it is now. "Same goes to you crazies who spell "wacko" as "whacko." What the hell are you thinking?"    

Rufus King For President!

So Romney won the Michigan state primary, McCain and Clinton took their respective party's crown in New Hampshire, and Huckabee and Obama were the #1s in Iowa. Perhaps one of these 2008 hopefuls will end up in the White House next year as President of the United States.

Or perhaps instead one of them will join Samuel Tilden, Horatio Seymour or Rufus King and have his portrait hung in the They Also Ran Museum. We never got to have a president names Rufus because he lost to James Monroe in 1816.

Yep, it's a museum dedicated to  the other party's nominee, the candidate who lost the presidential election, and you'll find it in the mezzanine of the First State Bank in Norton, Kansas.

Several candidates lost their first bid for the presidency, but were successful on their second attempts, among them Thomas Jefferson and Richard Nixon. Some won a first term but lost a second, such as Herbert Hoover and George H.W. Bush.

Native son Bob Dole is proudly displayed. He lost to Bill Clinton in 1996.

Henry Clay is the nation's most consistent loser - running as a presidential candidate three times for three different political parties, losing to John Quincy Adams in 1824 as a Democratic Republican, to Andrew Jackson in 1832 on the National Republican ticket, and finally to James Polk in 1844 when Clay ran as a Whig. Whew.

I am sick just now learning of this awesome attraction while enjoying the 2008 Farmer's Almanac and have quoted them liberally here. If it had been included in last year's Almanac I would have made sure to include the town of Norton in my vacation plans when I visited Kansas for a week last March. Remind me to post photos one day soon. 

    

In Case You Run Across A Lot Of Sugar?

Today is the 100th post of StronglyWordedLetter.com!

But look, if I had time to run a third blog it'd be dedicated to a daily posting and analysis of the World's Largest Things. I ache to bring you details of the World's Largest Roadrunner (Las Cruces, N.M.) and the World's Largest Shuttlecock (Kansas City, Mo.) but there is just no time.

Thank you to blog reader Brynne, however,  for this recap of her recent visit to the World's Largest Wooden Spoon in Miyajima, Japan.

"This past November I spent two weeks exploring Japan with three of my best friends.  Have you ever been there? If not, leave immediately. 

"Japan is the most beautiful, clean, fascinating country I have ever been to.  We had the most amazing time; fumbling our way around the cities, talking with locals, and snapping over 3,000 pictures combined.  We're ready to go back :) "

When I asked why the World's Largest Wooden Spoon was in Miyajima here's what she had to say, "Something about a monk that lived on that particular island, making a wooden rice-serving spoon that doesn't damage the taste of the rice.  Right.  And of course, you can buy your own version of this gi-normous spoon in any of the souvenir shops nearby."

Thanks, Brynne!

Ore - Gone!

Last day of vacation pictures from last week's getaway to the Beaver State. (I think I rented that once) (Click on any photo for larger version)




A few from the Wildlife Safari in Winston, Oregon.



Elk, I think. I always get them confused with moose.



Paging Don Johnson. Don Johnson, courtesy phone please...





"Catch a wave and you're sitting on top of the world....."




We are so moving to this street.....Happy New Year again. Come back tomorrow for something completely different.

Oregon 3: Oregoner

Nothing is more boring than someone else's vacation pictures, right? I'm here to prove it too. (Click on any photo for larger version)


Happy Holidays ... from Jimmy Buffet maybe?



One day I'd like to have a set up like this for my cows.....



Squawk, squawk, squawk...It's always something with you.



Purty, right?


One more set tomorrow.....Oh, and Happy New Year!

South Of The Border

Oregon's official state flag was adopted in 1925. It is the only US state flag that still has a design on both sides. It's true: you can source me!

A few more snapshots now from my drive down the Oregon coast over the weekend. (Click on any photo for larger version)

Water, water everywhere...

Rocks too!

And lighthouses.....

And rain....

And  me.

And no caption needed.

More tomorrow.

Go Beavers!!!

I squeezed in a short road trip down to Oregon last week and here are a few photos and a short description of same. (Click on any photo for larger version)

Creepy trees, leading to certain death, I'm sure.

Christmas lights on a fire station, I believe in Toledo, Oregon, celebrating the birth of the baby George Washington, I guess.....

Decorations inside the State Capitol in Salem. I'm standing in front of the Senate chamber, looking across the rotunda to the House. The wreath in the center is around the State Seal on the floor.

They must not get many visitors here.

Excellent advice from the Tokyo Japanese Steakhouse And Sushi Bar (correct)  in Corvallis, Oregon!

More tomorrow!

World's Largest...Wait For it.....Moose!!!!!

Long time readers know of my affection for any World's Largest attraction and I am always excited to hear of a new one. So you can imagine my pleasure at opening the following letter from the mailbag*




Dear Bean,

You may already know about this future wonder of architecture, but located in the north of Sweden, there is a giant moose being constructed, set to be finished in late 2009.  It will be about 45 meters tall, which is much larger than a regular moose!  This should prove to be very exciting for people that like the idea being inside of a moose, which I think describes you to a T.  In any case, here's the Giant Moose website where you can watch the virtual video tour

David Marks

P.S. Do you think the Trojans will fall for it again?




*You see, kids, before "email" and "computers" a man in a blue uniform who worked for the government used to come around to your house every day and deliver letters that were "handwritten" or typed on "paper."  Many of these "mail carriers" transported the day's deliveries in something called a "mailbag."

Japanese Are Weird

Thanks to my friend Paul for sending me the following:


"On a narrow Tokyo street, near a beef bowl restaurant and a pachinko parlor, Aya Tsukioka demonstrated new clothing designs that she hopes will ease Japan’s growing fears of crime.

Deftly, Ms. Tsukioka, a 29-year-old experimental fashion designer, lifted a flap on her skirt to reveal a large sheet of cloth printed in bright red with a soft drink logo partly visible. By holding the sheet open and stepping to the side of the road, she showed how a woman walking alone could elude pursuers — by disguising herself as a vending machine.

The wearer hides behind the sheet, printed with an actual-size photo of a vending machine. Ms. Tsukioka’s clothing is still in development, but she already has several versions, including one that unfolds from a kimono and a deluxe model with four sides for more complete camouflaging.




Ysukioka says her inspiration has been Japanese ninja assassins, who cloak themselves in black blankets so that they cannot be seen in the night.

She says the invention fits in with Japanese sensibility. "It is just easier for Japanese to hide. Making a scene would be too embarrassing."

The designer's other inventions include a manhole bag which unfolds to look like a sewer cover and a backpack which can transform into a fire hydrant to hide a child.

20 hand sewn vending machine skirts have already been sold, costing about $800 each."

As Paul wisely pointed out to me, "But what if the rapist stops to buy a Coke?"

 

Honest! A Giraffe Ate My Homework

I read about it in last month's Vanity Fair magazine and can't stop thinking about it. It is Giraffe Manor.



It is a 120 acre estate just outside Nairobi, Kenya and the owners have converted the former hunting lodge into a six-bedroom hotel.

British born Jack Leslie-Melville and his American wife Betty adopted Daisy, one of the  "highly endangered Rosthschild giraffes - which can be as tall as 20 feet, making them the tallest of the species" back in 1974. Since then, three more generations of her family have called the lodge their home.

Over the years, guests including Walter Cronkite, Johnny Carson, Mick Jagger and Stephen Sondheim have visited the manor and had the thrill of seeing giraffes poke their heads in the window looking for a butler to feed him some nuts.

The hotel "doesn't pretend to be swanky. It can be a delicious introduction to Africa, or a rest after a full-on safari.  'It's a home, and you are our houseguests. No spa. No television. Here you walk in the forest, you talk, you read, you sleep, and you read.' There are views of Mount Kilimanjaro and the Nyong Hills....."

Sounds  like one of those once-in-a-lifetime expensive-but- worth-it travel destinations. Here is the site for Giraffe Manor.

And even if your weekend is sadly giraffe-free, please enjoy it!    

   

   

No Photography Allowed

Before she was her Serene Highness, Princess Grace of Monaco, she was Grace Kelly, Oscar winning actress from Philadelphia, Pa., USA.

I've been a fan of hers for many years, particularly her Hitchcock movies, To Catch A Thief, Dial M For Murder, and Rear Window.

It was my good fortune that our trip to Italy last month coincided with the first ever Grace Kelly artifact museum exhibit in nearby Monaco, in observance of the 25th anniversary of her untimely death.

We really enjoyed the breadth of the items on display, from personal letters and telegrams to an extensive wardrobe collection to movie memorabilia. 

    

The thing I was most excited about seeing was Miss Kelly's Academy Award statue she won for 1954's The Country Girl. When a break in the crowd opened up in front of the display case, I whipped out my little camera and framed the shot. Seemingly out of nowhere a security guard appeared and reminded me that no photography was allowed in the exhibit hall.  :(

But you can't stop good old fashioned American stick-to-itiveness! Once I had figured out the guard's rotation around the room I reached into my other pocket and pulled out my far less conspicuous iPhone. I then snapped this picture of the Oscar and ran! 

Not exactly the memento I was hoping for but if you look really closely and squint and already know what it is you are looking at, you can kind of see it's a bona fide specimen of Hollywood history.

P.S. For further information on the tribute exhibition, a wonderful hardback companion book is available for sale here.

These Are My Kind Of Nuns!

My wife and I went on the vacation of a lifetime last month to Italy. We saw these nuns in front of the stunning Duomo Cathedral on a beautiful sunshiny afternoon in Milan. I thought of the sisters this week when i saw this story in the news:

Feuding nuns force convent demise

By Christian Fraser
BBC News, Rome

"A convent in Italy is being shut down after a fight between its last three remaining nuns. So badly did relations deteriorate between the sisters of Santa Clara in Bari that the Mother Superior ended up in hospital with scratches to her face. Now the local archbishop has intervened and asked the Vatican for permission to close the convent. Sister Liliana is on her own there now and says she has no intention of leaving her home of the past 44 years.

The Clarissa nuns are regarded as the most austere order of the Roman Catholic Church, devoted to a life of prayer, penance and quiet contemplation. But at the Santa Clara convent in Bari, the vow of silence was shattered by an unholy row.

Sisters Annamaria and Gianbattista say they were driven to distraction by the nasty habits of their Mother Superior, Sister Liliana. They became so angry that during the summer they turned on her, scratching her face and throwing her to the ground.  The two nuns have now moved into a nearby convent, leaving Sister Liliana barricaded inside.

Despite the efforts of the Archbishop Giovanni Battista Pichierri to reconcile the three sisters he has been forced to call on the Vatican for help. He wrote to the Holy See telling them the sisters had "clearly lost their religious vocation" and with only one nun remaining has asked for permission to close the convent down.

But Sister Liliana is not going without a fight. She has been at the nunnery for 44 years and she is not going to be pushed about now. She has written to the Pope telling him she will only leave when God decides it is time to go. And since she is devoted to her vow of silence it is not that easy to reason with her."

Good luck and Godspeed, penguins.