Blender magazine has published their latest list of the 50 Worst Songs Ever and once again this year I appear to be at least partly responsible for some of these records being hits. Here's my breakdown:
Songs I Love: 4
Songs I Like: 18
Others: 28
Let me at least defend my top four on the list.
At #44 on their worst songs ever list they list Meatloaf's "I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) accusing it of not "making any sense" because it doesn't say what the Loaf won't do. That's the magic of it and just one reason why it's great. One can imagine anything to be the singer's dealbreaker and I just assume it was watching "So You Think You Can Dance."
Blender says the forty second worst song of all time is "The Sounds Of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel, saying it "sounds like a vicious parody of a pompous and pretentious mid-60s folk singer." We might know some of those pompous and pretentious pretenders by name if they could have written anything as good as this.
They call "The End" by the Doors the the 26th worst song ever. Are they right that is is "bombastic and lugubrious" and that it "sounds like it was recorded in a large metal shipping container and mixed by drunks?" Yes. But I love psychedelic music and the "anemic jazz noodling" of the guitar works for me. Plus, Apocalypse Now, bitch!
Their #12 worst song ever is "Kokomo" by the Beach Boys. They call it "a gloopy mess of faux-Carribean musical stylings." I say it always sounds like summer whenever you hear it. I didn't see the movie Cocktail, from whence it came, I so don't have that dragging down its memory either. Plus, the Beach Boys are close to my favorite band ever and the harmonies on this are their best of the 80s.
I wonder if somewhere there is somebody writing his blog and defending "I'm Too Sexy" (#49) or "Achy Breaky Heart" (#2).
"The Sounds Of Silence"!? What!? Are they kidding!
"Kokomo" well, yeah.
Posted by: Vic Rattler | November 01, 2007 at 09:33 AM
I'm with you regarding "The End" and "Sounds" and maybe a one or two more...but did you notice that VH1 covered this topic a few years ago and is almost the exact same list? So much for orignality Blender...
Posted by: Oscar H | November 01, 2007 at 05:42 PM
Any time Blender does a list that includes the word "worst" in it, you will always find DAN FOGELBERG on it.
I have to take exception to Europe's "The Final Countdown." I may have agreed before Arrested Development, but all fans of Will Arnett's Gob Bluth have a soft spot for that tune.
Posted by: LA | November 05, 2007 at 06:49 PM
No America, no Michael Franks, Tommy James, orRick Springfield. This 50 worse list won't even qualify in the top 100 worse lists of worse songs, sheesh, give me a break
Posted by: Deckard | November 07, 2007 at 11:58 PM
Meatloaf does explain what he won't do in "I'd Do Anything for Love." It's the last line of every chorus, and it changes each chorus.
"And i would do anything for love, I'd run right into hell and back
I would do anything for love, i'll never lie to you and that's a fact
-But i'll never forget the way you feel right now, oh no, no way-
And i would do anything for love, but i won't do that, i won't do that"
So, in this case, the thing he won't do is forget the way she felt right then. Oh no. No way.
He also won't stop dreaming of her every night of his life, forgive himself if they don't go all the way tonight, do it better than he does it with her, or sooner or later start screwing around. He won't do those things.
It's a great song, and as crazy as Jim Steinman might be, he's an amazing songwriter. But not a good video director.
Posted by: Craig | November 09, 2007 at 10:04 PM
Funny that as I was reading this, Kokomo started playing on my iPod. Love The Beach Boys.
Posted by: Becky | December 06, 2007 at 11:01 AM