Doctor Doctor, Give Me the News

Donna bought me a copy of this book because she is convinced there is something are many things wrong with me and we may find some answers within.

Perhaps I have the Syndrome Of Subjective Doubles?  That's  "the belief that you have a doppelganger - a person that looks just like you. Once it occurs to you that this person exists, it becomes impossible to convince you otherwise."   

Or maybe I am a victim of Micropsia, also known as Alice In Wonderland Syndrome.  That's "wild distortions in perception and reality. Objects seem to lose their God-given size and texture and begin shrinking and growing at random." You might imagine "your hands are a different size this morning than they were last night," "your linoleum floor is made of oatmeal," or ask yourself, "which is bigger, your goldfish or your car?"

Cotard's Syndrome? it's "the belief that you are dead, or that you don't exist, or that your body has dissipated into the universe and is no longer sentient. Or possibly, that you never existed in the first place."  I might have that, but how would I know if I passed before I found out?

Here it is! Windigo Psychosis! "The Windigo, according to Anishinaabe Native American folklore, is a demon spirit with a cadaverous form and a penchant for eating people." It happens when you get hungry, and then starving, and then ravenous and then, "you'll begin to see your friends and family as edible, a shift in perception followed by full psychosis and utter chaos....."   

I am a little peckish right now, come to think of it.....   

Comments

[Geo]

Syndromes, the new age excuse in living. Seems
the medical community has tailored a syndrome
that can fit just about any person. You might say it's a "Syndromatic" world we live in. I love it!

[Mister Keith]

Well, I could certainly tell her some stories from your past...

But seriously, there's nothing wrong with you that isn't wrong with the rest of us... Normal is so overrated.

[Jerkface]

Windigo Psychosis? So that's what Wile E. Coyote was suffering from! Poor guy....

[EditThis]

So Micropsia is basically schizophrenic. Or a person on some bad ass LSD.

[LA]

Cotard's is awesome. Is Takotsubo cardiomyopathy (broken heart syndrome) in your book, Bean? It's another favorite of mine.

[Vic Rattler]

God damn...
That's some Goldfish.