Move Along. There Is Nothing To See Here

Complaining about traffic is usually about as effective as complaining about the weather. It is so far out of our hands that I don't know why we would waste our own time with it, much less others.  But I have to get something off my chest today.

About once every six to eight weeks a small group of people in my business in Seattle get together for dinner. It's nice. There is lots of industry gossip, observations, and exchanging of ideas in a friendly, non-competitive  manner.  Smart, creative people whose company I really enjoy. 

Yesterday was the latest meeting and we agreed on a restaurant for dinner in Issaquah, a Seattle suburb on Lake Washington, about 15 miles east of the city. (Two unrelated notes: Issaquah comes from the Indian word for snake and the town has  become slightly famous in the last few years due to spawning the rock band Modest Mouse.)   

I am pretty diligent about being on time so I left with plenty of time to get there, even allowing for rush hour traffic. When I merged from Route 518 onto the 405 I was dismayed to see nothing but tail lights. I mean, it was a parking lot, if cars in a parking lot were actually moving, albeit at only about ten miles per hour.

Speed limit 55, actual speed 10.

For twenty solid minutes. Moving but very slow. 20 minutes at 10 mph means less than five miles in that time on the 405. Eventually I saw the cars ahead of me starting to break away from the pack but I couldn't see why.   In another minute I finally was in position to be able to see what had caused the quagmire. I saw something so shocking, so unusual, so mind bending that I now understood why the other drivers had not been able to zip on by. There was ... wait for it .... a car parked on the shoulder of the highway.

Not a police car with a radar gun showing out of the window.

Not an ambulance loading Britney Spears in on a gurney.

Not a fire truck hosing down a fiery, crashed alien spacecraft.

Not a vehicle with a tire being changed.

Not even a vehicle with its hazard lights on.

Not a vehicle even with a person in it. And it was on a well-lit shoulder, safely parked several feet off the lanes of travel.

Just a car. Much Like the ones driver after driver was pedaling at 10 miles per hour to have a look and then immediately flooring it up to 60 as they passed it.

There was nothing in the road. There was no need for a backup. I understand seeing the whole road and defensively driving and anticipating potential danger but if you can not effectively evaluate a situation like this one as you pass by without having to practically stop on the highway then you should not be driving on them. Word is bond.   

            

Comments

[Geo]

But at least it was on your side of the roadway!

[Chrissy]

There were times driving in San Diego traffic where it would be stop and go for an hour, and when I finally hit the place where things were speeding up, what did I find? NOTHING!! Absolutely NOTHING THERE!!! At least you had a car on the side of the road, not that that's any consolation.

[Mayren]

Happy Valentine's Day Bean.
I hope you have a wonderful day in
whatever way you choose.
More importantly; May your President's Day holiday weekend prove enjoyable as well.

[Chris]

Oh, I agree with the writer above, God forbid if the incident was on the other side of the road! I still don't understand why there aren't 6 ft high dividers between the freeway. If one side didn't know about the accident on the other side, there would be no looky-loos! I think the #1 most preventable delay in freeway traffic is the looky-loo.

[Marge]

The best in LA is when the traffic slows for miles, only to find the lighted highway signs encouraging drivers to "report drunk drivers, call 911" -- By the time I get there and realize THIS IS WHAT IS CAUSING THE SLOWDOWN, I'm a little irked, and need a drink myself!!

[Mas*]

Hey Bean,
Coincidentally, that happened to me this morning. Not only did light drizzle cause a raucous on the highway, but a car parked on the shoulder did it for everyone. Ahhhhh!! I was super pissed. I just flipped everyone who was driving slow off as I drove by.

Happy Valentine's Day Bean!!

[karlee]

HOORAY! I see this all the time. I love driving, but whats with the XXXXING Lookey LOUS!! ASSHOLES! GOD i hate people.

people in the fast lane on cell phones doing 60 need to DIE!!!!
I daydream about having a banner attached to my trunk that scrolls insulting things at people who are on their phones and driving.

Thanks for the post I needed to get that out there.

[Vanessa]

To me, as I sit in traffic and inch forward, and as my speedometer registers LESS than 0 miles per hour, I want everyone to get squished by a huge boulder or for some torrent to wash everyone away. And then, on schedule, I feel guilty for feeling this way and am instantly remorseful. But as this kaleidoscope of feelings finishes, a motorcycle whizzes by me and all the other cars and traffic. I instantly feel an anger so deep and impotent that I want to scream (and sometimes do). That poor motorcyclist would be shocked to know what slurs I shouted to his retreating form.

(by the way, Happy Single's Discrimination Day!)

[EditThis]

Since I live in the Bad Place, this happens all the time. And like the writer above mentioned, the situation where there is actually NOTHING there. There's nothing more irritating. When I'm sitting in a parking lot for 30 minutes, I want to see f-ing chalk marks and a body bag by the time I reach the cause of the slowdown. I'm just sayin'.

[Abel]

A friend of mine works for a Caltrans road maintenance crew. I have been out there with him on the side of the road with signs everywhere saying to "Slow Down". You would think the thing said to speed up. Where as in your experience, it was quite the opposite. No sign, no nothing, yet they slow down. What the Hell?

[Fred G.]

or was there?

(in response to your statement "there was nothing in the road" and "Not a .....")

[cathy g]

sounds like a good reminder of why you live on an island off the coast of seattle, and not in this terrible place where it takes you an hour to go a whole 15 miles.

[T]

I thought only people in LA were that stupid.

[Mister Keith]

This is typical in the Washington DC metro area. If it's rush hour, anything at all can disturb the flow of traffic. Since there are always breakdowns, cars on the shoulder, accidents, weather problems, and just waaaay too many cars, getting anywhere can be a challenge.

[LA]

Glad to know the 405 is hell in every West Coast city.

[Rob Perkins]

Mon-Fri I have to drive 40 miles from Orange County to Torrance LA and then 40 miles back - I've been doing this for years. Just before Xmas, heading home I get on the 405S and immediately put the car in park, and wait..and wait....and wait. Almost 2 hours later I get 20 miles down the freeway only to discover a quarter mile stretch of the 405 coned off blocking two lanes - there were no CalTrans workers doing vital road repairs, no cops, no accident, no broken down vehicles...just a quarter mile of 2 blocked lanes. And then nothing...back to 4 open lanes. The frustration at seeing this was so immense I felt a cross between suicidal and homicidal. It's just as well I didn't know who to call and complain to or they would have been subject to several c bombs and a liberal smattering of mf'ers. Let's hope the day we can travel through time and space at the flick of a switch on our 'Time and Space Travel Wrist Bands' (patent pending) is just around the corner...and let's hope that corner hasn't ben coned off for NO GODDAM GOOD F**ING REASON!!

[JedFishGould]

I have found myself in that situation. When I come up on the car, I make sure I take a long, stupid look at the sight I fought traffic to see.