No one likes to be dumped for another person. Let's be honest - even if the breakup is ultimately for the best. Of course it hurts at the time when the Other Woman/the Other Man comes out of nowhere and drinks your milkshake. No matter how secure we are, there is not much defense to, say Angelina Jolie coming along (Sorry, Jen Jen).
That's why I hope my darling wife Donna will see this post and understand that it's not about her. There is nothing she could have done differently to compete with my new girlfriend Verna. (Click to make larger, if needed)
Come on! Her name is Verna first of all. Yes please. Secondly, she not only works for the post office, she runs Zip Code 45105!!! Lastly for now (I'm sure I'll discover many other things I love about her down the road) she is 91 years old which is right in my wheelhouse. We can talk about all the things we have in common as we clear the chicken soup dishes and get ready for bed at 7:30 each night. Sigh.
P.S. By happy coincidence, today is the anniversary of the creation of the U.S. Postal Service! It was in 1792. I bet Verna was so hot then.
Bean, you are just wrong in the head. But thank you for making me laugh this early.
Posted by: HeatherMichelle | February 20, 2008 at 05:47 AM
Well...if anything it shows you how bad our social security system is...
Posted by: Raul | February 20, 2008 at 06:22 AM
As a longtime Ohio resident, I'd say chances are good Verna took the maiden voyage of the Cleveland Steamer.
Posted by: bruin | February 20, 2008 at 07:18 AM
Leaving Betty White for Verna.....Good call.
Posted by: Geo | February 20, 2008 at 07:26 AM
And this is why I love you Bean!
Posted by: Mas* | February 20, 2008 at 07:27 AM
I get more and more worried about why I read you every day. I mean, I know I shouldn't but man, you keep creeping me out.
Posted by: Chris | February 20, 2008 at 08:24 AM
Oh Bean. did you hear that? That was the sound of my heart breaking... Damn you Verna Naylor!!!
Posted by: alisa | February 20, 2008 at 09:39 AM
donna really is a saint, you know...
Posted by: mel | February 20, 2008 at 10:13 AM
You always manage to take my crummy day and make it better....
I wish you and Verna a lifetime of happiness!
Posted by: cathy g. | February 20, 2008 at 10:34 AM
Can't you keep Donna and just bang Verna on the side?
Posted by: Kate | February 20, 2008 at 12:54 PM
If only Donna was so lucky.
Posted by: Fred G. | February 20, 2008 at 01:52 PM
OK, now that she's single, where's the line for Donna forming? I want a piece of that!! Whoo-hoo! I mean, woo-hoo!
Posted by: John E | February 20, 2008 at 04:51 PM
Sometime's', you just beg to be mock'ed.
Posted by: Edmund F | February 21, 2008 at 10:01 AM