No Answer

"On March 4th, your vote will decide who will be in the White House to pick up the phone when it rings at 3 AM."

By now you have likely seen or heard about the above ad promoting Senator Hillary Clinton, which ran this weekend in the latest primary states of Texas and Illinois. Will they be enough to stop the Barack Obama Express? If you haven't seen it, please watch as I have some questions.

1. Is that scary music playing during the commercial from Saw 2? Or the Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Jeez, it's a phone call, not a Zombie Invasion.

2. Why is the mom in the ad checking in on her kids at 3:00 a.m.? Just getting in from a big night of whoring around?   Or did she sense that the phone was ringing at the White House, presumably hundreds of miles away from the ad's target cities of Cincinnati or Houston?

3. Wait, why does the  Senator from New York have so much more foreign policy experience  than the Senator from Illinois?  Not because she is married to the guy who used to answer those 3 a.m. calls I hope. I mean, I'm married to a fashion designer but that doesn't qualify me to advise Jennifer Aniston on what to wear on the red carpet.

4.  Why is Hillary fully dressed in a suit, wearing makeup and jewelry at 3 a.m.? Did she just come in from a big night of whoring around too?

5. Most confusing to me: If the message is that Senator Clinton is the better choice to leap for the phone call in the middle of the night to handle that urgent global crisis, WHY DOES IT TAKE HER SIX RINGS TO ANSWER??   

 

Comments

[Diane]

Excellent questions, Bean. A month ago, I said I'd vote for Hillary, but I'd campaign for Obama. I'm not sure that the former is true any more.

[Vic Rattler]

BE AFRAID!

Come back Edwards.

[Chris]

Sorry Bean but Ron Paul isn't going to get the opportunity to answer that phone.

Seriously though, what is this the freaking cold war? Is the President secretly Batman??

[John E]

Wait, that's a mom walking in? I thought it was a well dressed male serial killer who walks around neighborhoods looking for unlocked doors. I agree with the overdone appearance of Hillary at 3am. I want a president who's comfortable leading our country in pajamas.

[Kings Fan]

Yeah, why did it take her six rings to answer? Doesn't the White House have voicemail? I'd love to hear that message.

[alisa]

Bean For President! Start making those Bean - Tater Tot 08 bumper stickers.

Why does it take her 6 rings to answer the phone? Clearly because she had to doll herself up before answering the phone, or because she just got back from her night of whoring.

[Elissa]

Hillary is always calling my house at 3AM. It's so annoying. I have to roll over and shake Bill awake. It's all "Shh baby, you know I love you" this and "I'm just feeling her pain, it's part of the campaign for yooooou" that. Stupid Hillary.

[Fred G]

I wondered the same thing about #4. Maybe it's 3am Pacific time, 6am in DC.

[EditThis]

I love the idea here that it's the actual president that answers the phone at 3am. It would be so cool if that were true. I'd be prank calling all the time!

[Lynne_T]

The phone rings 6 times because President Obama is sound asleep comfortable he has taken care of business and everyone knows that when the president doesn't answer after 6 rings the it is up to his secretary to pick up the phone.

[Jerkface]

Do you suppose that Hillary was whoring around with the collective mothers of our nations children? That would explain why she walked in right before Hillary answered the phone.

[Cynthia]

I wish you were the one writing the comprehension questions for this stupid reading program we've been saddled with for the past bunch of years....

[ALPICH]

Yeah Hillary needs to stop this grasping for straws nonsense...She needs to get back in line and start begging Senator Obama for a shot at the Veep title or perhaps a low cabinet position.. Secretary of the Interior perhaps? Save a National Park Hillary!

=D