I don't know if there's a bigger picture I'm missing - in fact, I'm sure there isn't - but it's just too weird not to suggest.
On July 4th we had some visitors in town and I planned ahead to buy tickets for all of us to see the new Will Smith movie, Hancock. We drove down to Renton for the 2:30 showing at the East Valley 13. Fail!
We knew something was up when we pulled into the parking lot and saw just a smattering of cars there instead of being packed as you'd expect on a holiday. Then we saw a uniformed theater employee standing on the sidewalk and knew she was not handing out good news.
The theater had been hit by lightning that morning it turned out and "everything was fried." How random is that? How often is a movie showing canceled by lightning? I couldn't even get a refund on my advance tickets that day since none of the registers were working either.
As odd as that was, stuff does happen and I probably would have forgotten it by now except for what's happened since.
A few days ago, I was running some errands in downtown Seattle and found a parking space on Broadway, near Pine. We have those electronic parking meters that take cash or plastic and dispense a ticket for up to two hours so I put in my credit card to buy some time. Fail!
For the first time in all the years I've been using these machines my Visa card got swallowed inside one. No way to retrieve it, it turned out, no matter how many times I hit Cancel. I found the trouble phone number on the kiosk and called it to make a report. The nice Filipino man who answered the phone told me someone would be out in 20 to 30 minutes to open 'er up. So that happened.
I still didn't put those two incidents together until yesterday when once again technology was my foe. I was in the Tukwila Target store standing in line at the cash register. I was, no joke, buying a jar of mayonnaise and the new Randy Travis CD. In case you are wondering if I could be any whiter, yes, I could have also been buying some golf shirts and some Wonder Bread, wise ass.
Again with the firsts. The power suddenly went out in the entire store. We were plunged into total complete darkness for about 15 seconds, just long enough for me to wonder why there weren't any emergency lights in the store. If the lights were out much longer I'm sure the looting would have begun and then the looters would have fallen over themselves trying to find the exit.
So the power came on but the cash registers did not. You know computers. Each one had to be rebooted and I just stood there watching a series of screens slowly come present themselves to Ming, my checker. There is no way to rush a reboot so I just stood and stood and eventually left my Caucasian merchandise on the counter and vowed to return on another day with more reliable electricity. Fail!
Soooooooo, is there a theme here? Is Someone trying to send me a message about the destructiveness of rampant American commercialism? Or am I jinxed? Or should I be seeing clues to the upcoming Al Qaeda attack? Or is it just a wacky coincidence? Courage.
Or are you a X File. Wait, the new movie is
coming out. Coincidence? I'm just sayin.
Posted by: Geo | July 16, 2008 at 04:36 AM
Maybe you cheated death recently, like Final Destination. Be careful Bean!
Posted by: Emily Alexis | July 16, 2008 at 04:39 AM
Technology dependence is a voracious beast, removing us from our own humanity, and keeping us out of touch with nature and all its wondrous power.
We all know this, but if you think about it too much, you'll be living life in the throes of a monster headache that won't go away.
Dull the pain. Drink more wine. Have a nice day! ;-)
Posted by: Stacey | July 16, 2008 at 05:49 AM
I think the Target thing was an inside joke. They probably said, the day when someone comes to buy Mayo at Target, is the day we shut the power off.
The other stuff I'm sure is just a jinx. You need a Witch Doctor fast!
Posted by: Raul | July 16, 2008 at 06:12 AM
Ah, computers.
On a PC you normally see "My Computer". I renamed it "I Hate Bill Gates"
I'm much happier.
In this computer world you have to be quick on your feet to analyze how deep you really are to be able to react.
The Target situation was easy. When the cash register didn't come up instantly you just leave the stuff and go somewhere else.
The parking meter is tough because your very valuable credit card has been kidnapped. You know you are screwed and can't do a damn thing.
The movie tickets are even worse. You go on the internet and place your money with a computer that is probably in Russia that deposits your money in the Cayman Islands. Good luck getting it back. You can't even put your hands around the neck of a real person. Or even find a phone number of a real person to yell at.
Welcome to 2008.
Posted by: Dean | July 16, 2008 at 07:03 AM
You think it's dark out on the sales floor when the lights fail (there are emergency lights) you should see the backroom, total complete can't see the hand in front of your face darkness.
Posted by: Vic Rattler | July 16, 2008 at 07:17 AM
What if the robots aren't taking over? Just leaving.
Posted by: Edmund F | July 16, 2008 at 08:03 AM
Well...first Will Smith is a tool and that movie looked pretty dumb...but I cannot do anything about your poor taste. You should go old school and try CASH ! Trust me with banks failing the good old mattress may not be such a bad place to put your money...
Posted by: | July 16, 2008 at 08:13 AM
Aside from the parking meter, I think the electronic malfunctions were a result of your purchasing choices. Hancock? Mayo & Randy Travis? I think someone is looking out for you. :)
Posted by: Nick | July 16, 2008 at 08:25 AM
Courage, Bean...Courage
Posted by: Larry A. (Irvine, CA) | July 16, 2008 at 09:05 AM
bean, i hate to tell you this, but i fear you may be a SLIder. (for more info go to: http://paranormal.about.com/od/telekinesispsychokinesis/a/aa052508.htm )
good luck with that.
Posted by: mel | July 16, 2008 at 09:25 AM
I'm curious if you went to Target specifically to buy mayonnaise, or specifically to buy the CD, or are those the two things that happened to catch your eye?
Posted by: Diane | July 16, 2008 at 10:00 AM
Although this saying was coined for another purpose, I think it applies equally well to your situation:
"The only common element of all your failed relationships is you."
Posted by: Johnny Socko | July 16, 2008 at 11:14 AM
I'm a HUGE believer in signs and maybe someone is trying to tell you something.....
Posted by: angie | July 16, 2008 at 11:30 AM
You just need to reverse your polarity. Try holding a D cell in one hand and a live electrical connection in the other, while swimming. Should do the trick.
Posted by: Resilient Rabbit | July 16, 2008 at 11:52 AM
I thought maybe the movie was so bad no one had shown up to see it. Which might just be the case; I only got through 15 minutes of it online before abandoning all hope of being entertained.
The other night I watched Punch Drunk Love. If those things had happened to Adam Sandler in that movie he would have taken a crowbar to all the windows at Target. And that would have been awesome.
Posted by: Rochelle | July 16, 2008 at 11:54 AM
C'mon, Bean, Randy Travis????
Posted by: Sunny Days | July 16, 2008 at 03:06 PM
One word: Cash.
Also, I can get you the RT if you still need it. Let me know.
Posted by: kimmy | July 16, 2008 at 06:11 PM
Dude ! 15 seconds of darkness is plenty of time grab the boobs of the hottie behind you, pocket a few skittles and then move 3 registers over so the guy next to you gets the blame! I'm just sayin'....
Posted by: Steve | July 16, 2008 at 07:58 PM
Mayo & Randy Travis in Target?!?!
It's time to swallow the shotgun my friend.
I'm just sayin'...
Posted by: ARSENAL MF'ers! | July 16, 2008 at 10:45 PM