I didn't notice it. I didn't care about it. I probably would have never even thought twice about it. But Donna insisted I one day ask a doctor what the hell was going on with my freaky belly button.
Mine is not strictly an outie like I've seen on other people and it is certainly nowhere near an innie. So what is it?
I was in a medical office a couple of weeks ago on an unrelated matter and decided to ask. Dr. WhiteCoat poked his finger in my stomach knot and then licked it. Okay, he didn't lick it. i made that up. But he did very casually remark, "Oh, you have a herniated navel."
I went to the Wiki and here is the gist of a herniated navel:
"Umbilical hernia is a congenital malformation, especially common in infants of African descent, and more frequent in boys. (Ed. note: Check and check.)
A hernia is present at the site of the umbilicus (commonly called a navel, or belly button) in the newborn; although sometimes quite large, these hernias tend to resolve without any treatment by around the age of 5 years.
Babies are prone to this malformation because of the process during fetal development by which the abdominal organs form outside the abdominal cavity, later returning into it through an opening which will become the umbilicus."
I had to read that twice but I think I got it. Body stuff that formed on the outside was supposed to go through my belly button to live on the inside for the rest of my life. Not all of it made it through. What's left is what I see.
The doctor mentioned I could have a procedure to "fix" it. Look, if I'm not going to have surgery on this face i am certainly not going to have it for my belly button.
I warned you in the very headline of this post that you do not want to see this. Remember that? Then why are you even thinking of clicking here? Don't do it! And if you ignore my advice, the complaint desk is closed. We have lint to manage.
haha! aww. it looks like an eye! now all it needs is a tube.
Posted by: michelle k | August 05, 2008 at 04:41 AM
My eyes, my eyes....for the love of God, help me. I need to go to my happy place.
Posted by: LiLa | August 05, 2008 at 04:53 AM
Why couldn't it be a tail? That thing is RAD!!!! I would wear too short shirts just to show it off.
Posted by: Edmund F | August 05, 2008 at 05:16 AM
It looks like an eye without my glasses on! Like an alien eye! Unless it brings you pain I see keep it and wear it proudly like your devilish good looks!
Posted by: Sil | August 05, 2008 at 05:22 AM
I guess due to the "accident" you've forgotton the tale. When Chief and Mom found you in the field they noticed you had no belly button. Afraid that this would cause too many questions later they procured Alfred Hitchcock's Belly button that had been removed some years earlier.
Now you know why you feel such a connection with the Roswell incident.
BTW. Don't look at your elbows unless you want to be really upset.
Posted by: brother john | August 05, 2008 at 05:41 AM
It looks like a fetus eye inside a womb!
Posted by: Raul | August 05, 2008 at 06:11 AM
Cool!
Posted by: Diane | August 05, 2008 at 06:14 AM
It looks like an flesh colored eye. If it doesn't bother you, forget surgery. But, you should ask Donna, if she wants you to take care of it, you should.
Posted by: Ana | August 05, 2008 at 06:16 AM
Looks like you are sticking out your tongue at us.
Posted by: Lynne_T | August 05, 2008 at 07:48 AM
you should SOOO-O-O-O tattoo an eyeball on that thing.
Posted by: alisa | August 05, 2008 at 07:58 AM
by the way, your brother is awesome. where is his blog? =)
Posted by: alisa | August 05, 2008 at 07:58 AM
Like Donna has ever seen Bean naked.
Posted by: Edmund F | August 05, 2008 at 08:08 AM
Yeah, I took the advice and I didn't click...
Posted by: Sketchbook by Chris | August 05, 2008 at 08:19 AM
It looks just like my brother's! I can't wait to tell his racist ass that his African decent caused this...
Posted by: Kate | August 05, 2008 at 08:52 AM
i assumed it was another rick-roll and did not click
Posted by: maltese parakeet | August 05, 2008 at 09:00 AM
Without question, that was one of the grossest things I've ever seen. I couldn't have prepared myself enough for that. What? That was just your belly button? Oh... never mind.
Posted by: Kings Fan | August 05, 2008 at 09:42 AM
um, it's staring at me!!!! Make it stop!!!
Posted by: angie | August 05, 2008 at 09:48 AM
Nice skin eye. If only you could make it blink...
Posted by: Anna | August 05, 2008 at 09:50 AM
looks like a baby mouth with its tongue sticking out. my father developed this and it exploded. good times.
Posted by: karlee | August 05, 2008 at 09:59 AM
You cannot be fascinated with tails as oddities if you have this knob on your front.
Posted by: Brittany | August 05, 2008 at 10:02 AM
it's kinda cute; soft and round... would go great with cut off t-shirts!
Posted by: Isabel | August 05, 2008 at 10:04 AM
My retinas!!! They burn!!!!
Posted by: magnus | August 05, 2008 at 10:28 AM
So you have the belly button of your black ancestors, but not the penis size, eh?
Posted by: Melvin | August 05, 2008 at 11:33 AM
I know the picture is out of focus... but shouldn't there be...I don't know... hair around it? You don't wax your torso, do you?
You should TOTALLY get a wicked tattoo that incorporates it! Like a baby's face where that's the mouth or the eyeball!!
I think I'll submit that picture to Fark.com for a Photoshop contest!
Posted by: Julius Marx | August 05, 2008 at 11:45 AM
That's pretty badass.
Posted by: Christine | August 05, 2008 at 11:48 AM
Is this what your blog has come to? I think I'm gonna throw up!
Posted by: Geo | August 05, 2008 at 02:31 PM
dude.. you may want to get that thing circumcised, for health issues... oh wait, isn't that you're junk?
Posted by: Michelle Andalon | August 05, 2008 at 03:55 PM
Bean if one were to walk around the room, would your belly button eye follow you?
Posted by: Drew82 | August 05, 2008 at 04:10 PM
Bean, I want to make sex with your mutated navel
Posted by: | August 05, 2008 at 05:24 PM
as if you didnt have any more reasons to kill yourself
Posted by: Tracy | August 05, 2008 at 06:35 PM
That's not your belly button Bean. It's your vagina.
Posted by: Matt | August 05, 2008 at 06:36 PM
Bean are you sure that is your belly button. Looks like it might be what I would imagine to be below the belly button. Are you sure you didn't hold the camera too far down, or are you trying to be an exhibitionist under the guise that this is your belly button? Yes! I think I have this figured out! You show-off! You go guy, Dona is very lucky!!!!
Posted by: Lynne_T | August 05, 2008 at 08:49 PM
It winked at me!
Posted by: Irene | August 05, 2008 at 10:54 PM
OMG a lil penis!!!
Posted by: catikal | August 06, 2008 at 08:29 AM
Oh, god. Why?
Posted by: Roy | August 06, 2008 at 08:36 AM
Thank you Bean for that info. I never heard of this naval issue. . .
I googled the Umbilical hernia images. . .and yours is not that bad compared to other mutants.
Once again thanks for that info . . . Bean.
You are one of a kind.
Posted by: Master Chief | August 06, 2008 at 08:38 AM
You owe me 2 minutes of my life back, you son-of-a-bitch!
Posted by: Paul | August 06, 2008 at 08:40 AM
VAGINA?
Posted by: eunisses | August 06, 2008 at 08:41 AM
It does look like a doll's eye. I think I am going to have nightmares tonight. Thanks alot.
Posted by: Anna | August 06, 2008 at 08:43 AM
Bean,You should wear hip-hugger jeans to show it off!!!!!!!!
BTW: You Suck at taking pics, get a camera with macro settings.
Posted by: McThunderStick | August 06, 2008 at 10:16 AM
How do we know this isn’t an intimate picture of tater tot’s pink eye?
Posted by: Ralph | August 06, 2008 at 01:23 PM
Bean, have you and decency ever met?
Posted by: Alan | August 06, 2008 at 06:56 PM
OMG..my BF has this same thing! They (he and the doctor) talked about the surgery thing, but for now, I just poke it back in with my finger.
Posted by: mary | August 07, 2008 at 12:31 PM
Looks like a mouth sticking out its tongue!!
Posted by: pati | August 08, 2008 at 09:53 AM
Looks like an infants head when it is being delivered.
Posted by: Michelle Renee | August 08, 2008 at 10:49 AM
While driving home yesterday after reading this blog, my son's friend asked me if I knew what "omphaloskepsis" meant, which I didnt. It means to examine one's navel. Little serendpity for me today.
Posted by: Phil | August 08, 2008 at 01:12 PM
Looks like an oversized stomach clitoris. Do you get turned on when you touch it?
Posted by: Donnie | August 08, 2008 at 07:32 PM
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Posted by: Casi | August 09, 2008 at 09:59 AM
I actually had this Too. I had surgery to fix it. Its not that bad. My doctor said its a good idea to have it repaired it can get bigger. Strangulation can occur causing Injury to the blood circulation to the Intestines. INCARCERATION can also occur. Mortality rates are high in patients not treated quickly with surgery.
You may want to consider the surgery. I don't mean to scare you but Just thought you should know.
Posted by: Sheri | August 12, 2008 at 11:21 PM