Strongly Worded Letter

A Sad Postscript

P.S. After several months of declining health, some of which I have chronicled here in earlier posts, our beloved cow Betsy decided to stop fighting back on Thursday.

She was only with us for a little more than four years but we loved her as if we had raised her from a calf. And even though we knew she was quite elderly when we took her in, we still always hoped we would get even more time with her.

I honestly expected yesterday's post would be my last for this cycle of StronglyWordedLetter.com but so many of you expressed well wishes for Betsy this summer that I felt I owed you this update. I'm sorry it is not better news.

When our dear friend Christine was visiting us over the 4th of July weekend she took this photograph down by the barn. I was not aware that she was even taking the picture but I vividly remember the conversation I was having with Betsy at the time. It was one Donna and I had often with her in recent months. We always told her that we loved her very much. We also told her that it was up to her when she wanted to go but we would do everything we could to keep her alive and comfortable until she was ready. Thursday she was ready. We will miss her so much.

End Of Season Two

Today's post will be the final one of StronglyWordedletter.com's second season. I want to thank you for your terrific support of this - let's be honest - retarded little blog.  I especially am grateful for the many of you who took the time to leave comments on some posts. That really increased the entertainment value of this project for me and I know it did for other readers too.

Since today's temporary farewell ends on a Friday I couldn't leave without one more look at Tater Tot, right? Here are a few shots from a wonderful afternoon in the front yard with the best dog in the world and the best wife in the world too. I want to thank them both for allowing this daily writing distraction over the past eleven months.

And for the last Tater Tot Friday, here's something completely different too. I am posting video of her for the first time. I hope she makes you happy just looking at her!

Thanks again and I hope we will be reading or writing each other again sometime in the future. Feel free to leave a comment with a link to your own blog in case others are looking for something new to read each day.

Oh, for the fraction of you that visit ChristmasMusicEveryday.com, there will be no changes on that blog at this time.

Best Wishes,

Bean

What The Hell Is A Cake Wreck?

Thank you to blog reader Maria who tipped me off to a blog called Cake Wrecks. It is apparently the site you have been waiting for to read about "when professional cakes go horribly, hilariously wrong."

Cake disasters are chronicled in many categories, like Harsh Reality, Sweet Messenger:

The next category is Why Are The Children Screaming? with the additional commentary of " I don't get it - we just brought out the cakes, and poof! Mass hysteria!"

The Celebrity Wrecks entry includes Hulk & Linda Hogan being so "greatful" for their son Nick, the one who is in jail for killing that dude.

Little Bindi Irwin had a picture of her dead father, the Crocodile Hunter, to spend her tenth birthday with.

And Michael Jackson was a cake wreck before he was a train wreck. Here's the cake for his sixteenth birthday party.

And I think my favorite, captioned with I Believe The Children Are The Future, is Li'l Derrick's cake for his 4th birthday. Nothing says being four like Grand Theft Auto and gangstas with guns.

Enjoy the rest of the blog, here!

The Naked City (NSFW, Sort Of)

I have been reading through the excellent Lonely Planet travel book on Finland this week in preparation for my trip Friday. Mostly, I will be winging it out on the highway but it will be nice to know something about the nearby towns to help me decide which road to take sometimes.

The internets have been helpful too and I came across an interesting page that only briefly mentions Helsinki. It is a picture page of some of the curious public art photos of Spencer Tunick.

I didn't know his name but have certainly heard about the man who has been traveling the world for more than twenty years taking pictures of dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of nude people.

Here are just a few of them, starting with Santiago, Chile.

Now London, England, not that you can tell.

Melbourne, Australia.

And Central Park, New York City, USA.

I like boobies as much as the next guy - more, if the next guy is Ryan Seacrest -  but these photos do not particularly speak to me at all. They are sort of interesting I guess but not really seem to be more effort than they are worth.

Here is the link to see more and some final thoughts from Mr. Tunick.

""A body is a living entity. It represents life, freedom, sensuality, and it is a mechanism to carry out our thoughts. A body is always beautiful to me. It depends on the individual work and what I do with it and what kind of idea lies behind it - if age matters or not. But in my group works, the only difference is how far people can go if it rains, snows etc.”

My Favorite Indian

You know how it is with those big budget epic historical movies. They come out and we all ooh and aah at the cast of thousands, the period costumes and scenery, and the running time of three hours or more. If it's long it has to be good, right? That'swhatshesaid!

Then come all the Oscars the picture inevitably wins because it is "important" and then comes the backlash and then those movies usually disappear to never be seen again. When you come across them on the TV years later you think, "Well, that was a good movie but I don't have that kind of time to invest in it again today."

What you would find if you did watch them again is that some of them hold up pretty well but some of them really suck. Titanic? Still great. Chariots Of Fire? Booooooooring. Amadeus? Awesome. The English Patient? Unwatchable. Some of the epics I never saw at the time and still haven't seen include Braveheart and Dances With Wolves so I don't know how they've held up. I suspect the Lord Of The Rings trilogy will be fine.

Recently Donna and I decided to invest 195 minutes in Gandhi, which was playing on AMC. Tip to old movie fans: Always watch them on the commercial-free channels. If Ghandi were on TBS it would have been five hours long.

For the youngsters in the blogosphere, Mohandas Gandhi was the spiritual leader of India who promoted civil disobedience to effect change in his country and elsewhere in the world. He fought racism, poverty, and against the British crown for Indian independence. So, of course, he was assassinated in 1948.

Director Richard Attenborough chose a virtual unknown for the title role, an Englishman of Indian heritage named Ben Kingsley. Both men won Academy Awards for their work. According to the AMC intro to the film, Dustin Hoffman and Anthony Hopkins were both considered to play Gandhi too. Fail!

I was really surprised while watching the movie unspool how many other notable actors are in the movie that I didn't even remember being in it.

Do you recall that Gandhi is also a Martin Sheen movie? And Candice Bergen. John Gielgud. Plus Nigel Hawthorne many years before The Madness Of King George. Do you remember a young Daniel Day-Lewis as a street thug? How about Cheers' favorite mailman  John Ratzenberger driving a jeep? 

It's always fun to see actors you now know in movies that came out before you knew them. I still can't get over that Seth Rogan is one of the high school kids beating up Donnie Darko in that film. Good times.

The Finnish Line

Like most, many, some folks I have a wish list in my head of countries around the world I hope to visit one day. There's always the question of getting the time off from work, not being committed to other projects at that time, and having the money to travel to and enough days to properly see the places you want to experience.

Last September I was lucky enough to see Italy and Monaco for the first time. I still haven't made it to Australia and New Zealand though. I want to see Japan, Russia and more of Alaska than I already have. India is at the top of my list but I want to wait until I've got about a month to attempt that one.

I am particularly drawn to the Scandinavian nations and have spent part of both a summer and a winter in Norway, one of my favorite places on Earth. The most fun vacation I ever took alone was my week in Iceland and I wouldn't mind getting back there either.

Next up for me though is Finland. In fact, I almost can't believe I leave for there on Friday night. I have about ten days to spend in country and plan to spend the first couple of full days and nights in Helsinki, a modern European capital of more than 500,000 residents.

After that I plan to hit the road and drive northward into the Arctic Circle and beyond. I have a rough idea of a few things I want to see, like the Sami reindeer herders and of course, Korvatunturi, the birthplace of Joulupikki, the Finnish name for Santa Claus. I hope to get really lucky and see some early Northern Lights too.

But here's where I need your help, dear readers. I know collectively you guys have been everywhere so I need to hear about Finland. Where else do I need to go? What else do I need to do, besides the obvious sauna with their Olympic women's volleyball team?

Thanks in advance for your advice and suggestions.

It's funny .... here is one of photos I found while poking around on some Finland sites. It's Lake Saimma in the eastern part of the country. Apparently I'm traveling thousands of miles to go to a place that looks almost exactly like Washington State's own Puget Sound!

 

Us Vs. Them

I've written before about the awesome website HowManyFiveYearOldsCanYouTakeInAFight.com.

On a related tip comes this extremely useful article from Cracked.com with advice on How To Win A Fight Against Twenty Children! From their page:

"I’m not going to ask why you’re fighting twenty children. That’s your own business, although most reasons are as old as time itself:

1) They started it.
2) You flipped over the table while losing a Magic: The Gathering game, and damaged several rare cards.
3) They stole your woman.
4) You stole their woman.
5) You’ve had enough of their bullsh**.

Whether you’re a good man who was in the wrong place at the wrong time, or a dangerous maniac, we here at Cracked want to help. That’s why we’ve consulted with the experts (who did not wish to be named) on how to maximize your odds of winning a fight against twenty children. Follow these guidelines, and your opponents will wish they were never born 6 or 7 years ago..."

Read the whole piece here and do it soon, before you get attacked by those little bastards.... 

The Wings (And More) Of The Dove

Last night we watched  the movie adaptation of Henry James' The Wings Of A Dove on DVD thanks to Netflix. It stars one of Donna's favorite actors, Linus Roache, and one of her least favorite, Helena Bonham Carter, who got an Oscar nomination for the role.

I had never seen it before but if you like those other movies from the 1990s about the love lives and money obsession of upper-class British folks - like Sense And Sensibilty and Howard's End - then you'll enjoy it fine.  

In an unusual coincidence,  yesterday I also read the USA Today story about the new book called Superdove by Courtney Humphries. It's a book all about, no kidding, pigeons. From the article:

"The book's title refers to the fact that the words 'pigeon' and dove' were once used interchangeably....

Dove, she notes, is equated with peace and used as a name for chocolate bars and soap. Pigeon has no marketing appeal. Woody Allen dismissed them as 'rats with wings' in his 1980 movie Stardust Memories.

By way of defending pigeons, Humphries says, "rats are really smart and fascinating animals. These judgments we make about 'pests' are all about context. Pigeons annoy people because they're not easily controlled, and we love to be able to control our environment. It doesn't mean they're inherently bad or unworthy of appreciation."

Let me add an Amen to that, sister!  So many of the feelings humans have about animals, from pigs to spiders to chickens and beyond, are rooted in our own ignorance or customs and often have very little to do with the creature itself.

Superdove is a book I won't read but I enjoyed seeing some of the facts about pigeons in the newspaper piece. Here are three:

"Most feral pigeons live only a year or two. Domestic pigeons can live into their teens."

"Pigeons won't fly at night; their night vision is worse than that of humans."

"At its peak during World War II, the U.S. Pigeon Corps had 3,000 enlisted men, 150 officers, and 54,000 pigeons."        

If you do happen to read it, let me know where the term pigeonhole came from, won't you?

Another Reason Why Fridays Rule

It's Tater Tot Friday!!! I can't decide if Tater looks more like E.T. getting ready for a bike ride or Obi-Wan Kenobi just before surrendering to Darth Vader. Either way, she looks like a movie star!

Tater Tot Friday Bonus Bulldog!!! I'm a little late getting to this one but a belated Happy First Birthday to adorable little Lulu who reached that milestone back in late June. Thanks to blog reader Kelly for the announcement and the party photo.

Hope your weekend is worth celebrating too!

Death May Not Be Proud But It Is Honest

I often enjoy reading the newspaper obituaries - I've mentioned that before - and here's why.

People are interesting. Almost all of them. But since I'll never meet most people, obituaries are a way to hear the highlights without spending any time with the actual people. Because people are boring too.

Here's one I missed in the Vallejo Times-Herald, whatever that is, but thanks to blog reader Joe I got a second chance.

"Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on Aug. 7, 2008. Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.

"Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times, too. But I truly believe at the end of the day all of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.

"There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, goodbye Mom."

Finally! Someone telling it like it is! I'm so over all the obits I read where every single person was a beloved family member and flawless citizen of the world who faced every minute of his final illness with grace and dignity. Someone out there has to have been a real son-of-a-bitch who lived a crappy life and then whined and complained every minute from the time he got sick so that the family was glad he finally croaked. Where are those stories? 

There are an awful lot of folks like Dolores who contributed nothing and will not be missed and it is refreshing to read about.

To enjoy the complete story of how this unusual obituary came to be published last week, click here.

 

  

Take A Picture, It'll Last Longer

Alfred Eisenstadt was perhaps the most famous photographer of the 20th century. No one reading this has not seen his most famous photograph, shown here.

Here's is what the master said about that fateful day where luck and preparation collided.

"In Times Square on V.J. Day, I saw a sailor running along the street grabbing every girl in sight. I was running ahead of him with my Leica looking back over my shoulder. Then suddenly, in a flash, I saw something white being grabbed. I turned around and clicked the moment the sailor kissed the nurse...I took exactly four pictures. It was done within a few seconds."

There are several other notable pictures from the hundreds Mr. Eisenstadt took in the decades he worked for LIFE magazine.

Here are some children watching the story of "St George and the dragon as the a puppet theater in Paris,1963.

"It took a long time to get the angle I liked, but the best picture is the one I took at the climax of the action. It carries all the excitement of the children screaming,"The dragon is slain!" Very often this sort of thing is only a momentary vision, my brain does not register, only my eyes and finger react. Click."

Headwaiter Rene Breguet brings aperitifs to English guests at the skating rink of the Grand Hotel, Saint-Moritz, 1932.

Though I have alway admired his work, I never got to meet Alfred Eisenstadt. He passed way in 1995 but I do count one of his photographs among our most cherished possessions. Last year we were fortunate enough to be able to acquire a signed copy of his magnificent Premiere At La Scala, 1934. It is my favorite of his pictures and made visiting the famous opera house last year in Milan all the more special.

"In Italy, I photographed a gala evening at La Scala. This was one of my first pictures with a Leica on a tripod. Suddenly I saw a lovely young society girl sitting next to an empty box. From that box I took this picture, with the girl in the foreground... Without the girl I would not have had a memorable picture."

To see many more of Mr. Eisenstadt's pictures, click here.

A Large Question

Hey Bean,

   I have something for you to hop up on your soap box about:  Target drink sizes.  I was at Target this weekend and went to the in store food service counter and ordered a soda,

The Target employee said:  "Small or medium?"

I looked at him funny I guess because he repeated:  "Do you want a small or medium?" 

I said:  "Don't you mean small or large?"  

He said: "No, small or medium"

I said: "Oh so you are out of large cups?

He said:  "No, we don't have large, just SMALL OR MEDIUM!!!!!" 

Needless to say, I did not try to educate him on the concept of both large and small being present in order for medium to exist, but I would LOVE if you took this up as one of your issues! 

Thanks Bean!

No, thanks to you, Colleen, for your excellent letter. I have fought the same battle myself and always lost. It makes no logical sense whatsoever.

If the reason they don't want to call a medium a large is because they don't want consumers to think it is as big as large drinks are at similar stores then they could rename theirs bigger and smaller. But I agree with you that small and medium needs a base line to be meaningful. Small or medium compared to what?

This reminds me so much of a conversation I had recently with a co-worker who has a "hot chick" scale with no 10. I say his 7s and 8s are not really 7s and 8s unless those numbers represent a relationship to a 1 -10 scale. In other words, if, say, Megan Fox is "only" a 9 but you have no 10s then Megan Fox has to be a 10 on your scale.

I welcome other readers to weigh in on any aspect of either point.

Fool Me Once.....

Here are the first four paragraphs of a story of great interest to me I found this week on AdWeek.com:

The company that manufactures Airborne, described as a dietary supplement whose vitamins and minerals help support the immune system, has settled its case with the Federal Trade Commission over the advertising and labeling of its products.

According to the FTC, Airborne, Bonita Springs, Fla., "Has agreed to pay up to $30 million to settle Federal Trade Commission charges that it did not have adequate evidence to support its advertising claims in which its effervescent tablet was marketed as a cold prevention and treatment remedy."

Airborne has denied wrongdoing or illegal conduct, but reached an agreement with the FTC and agreed to settle a class action lawsuit "to avoid continued expense and distraction from management of the business," according to a statement released by the company.

The FTC's complaint stated that there was "no competent and reliable scientific evidence to support the claims made by the [company] that Airborne tablets can prevent or reduce the risk of colds, sickness, or infection; protect against or help fight germs; reduce the severity or duration of a cold; and protect against colds, sickness, or infection in crowded places such as airplanes, offices or schools."

Me again. Now I have a tough decision to make. Do I....

A) Convince myself that Airborne works as advertised but they got busted by the Feds because the company didn't have the proper scientific research to prove their claims?

or B) Accept that the product doesn't work and that millions of us who swear by it, and have much anecdotal evidence to support our strong faith in its effectiveness, are just victims of a placebo effect?

Can it really be all in my head? Here's all I know. Before Airborne: scratchy sore throat every time I traveled. After Airborne: healthiest man getting off the plane. Am i a sucker?

Number Nine ... Number Nine .... Number Nine

I've mentioned before how much I enjoy listening to rebroadcasts each weekend of the American Top 40 radio shows from the 1970s and 1980s that are now syndicated across the country.

Last weekend was Casey's countdown of the hits from that same week in August 1971 and I was surprised to notice the astonishing staying power of that Top Ten some 37 years later. By my count, nine of the top ten songs from that week are still regularly played on rock and oldies stations today. Wow. 

Here they are.

10. Mercy Mercy Me                           Marvin Gaye

 8. Beginnings                                      Chicago
 7. It’s Too Late                                   Carole King
 6. Take Me Home Country Roads         John Denver
 5. Draggin’ The Line                            Tommy James
 4. Mr. Big Stuff                                   Jean Knight
 3. You’ve Got A Friend                        James Taylor
 2. Indian Reservation                           The Raiders
 1. How Can You Mend A Broken Heart   Bee Gees

The one song that doesn't get much airplay anymore was the novelty song at #9 that had been put together by a popular radio disc jockey named Tom Clay. Moved by the turmoil Americans had been hearing every night on the news - race riots, assassinations, Vietnam - he decided to promote love and tolerance on his 45. Clay recorded a medley of two recent popular songs, then edited in interviews he conducted with some children and added audio from the news.

What The World Needs Now/Abraham, Martin & John peaked the following week at #8 and here it is, courtesy of Casey Kasem. Please enjoy.

P.S. Oooooooh, no winner yesterday but thanks for playing. I am not kidding you when I report her name was Breeyaunauh.